At the age of sixteen, I decided to drop out of school in a math class that was unintelligible.
At that time, my tiredness of going to school was increasing day by day. My academic results were a mess, and the numerous test papers marked a bleak radius of youth. In the early morning dormitory meeting in the dormitory, a group of young Maotou children looked out at the unchanging scenery outside the window, looking forward to the possibilities beyond the exam-oriented education, as if it were all gold.
The values that have not yet formed are easy to mislead us into unreasonable criticism and suspicion, and burn every cell in the body, making people more and more courageous to go far. I think that I am a talented swallow, so I should fly to Wang Xietang in a posture, but I was bound by wrong growth. When I told my mother about the idea of dropping out of school, maybe I was extremely disappointed with me. She actually agreed, which gave me more confidence to leave.
Naturally, I was faced with many obstacles to quit school, and my father was so angry that in a hurry, but in the autumn that hurried away, I still insisted on finishing the drop-out process, packing the books together with the youth, and then shelving them.
The scene when I left the school is still clear. The stereotyped reciting sounds seem to be lingering in my ears, but the river and mountains outside the car window have changed. Looking out of the car window, I was full of joy and made a flying gesture boldly, as if the free life had come.
The first step after dropping out of school is to quickly find a job that can support yourself, and then go to Yundang by hard work. Although Beishangguang is beautiful, it is expensive, which is not enjoyed by any fledgling young people, so I decided to stay in my hometown temporarily. At the beginning, I wanted to go to the magazine as an editor, but I just filled out my resume with a high school diploma, and all of it went to sea. After a few days of waiting, I finally changed my strategy. Standing in front of the dirty wall of the labor market covered with job offers, I used a scribbled interview phone call to turn myself into a coffee shop attendant.
The naive thoughts tell me that being at the bottom is not terrible. After being down to earth, years will give me equal rewards. I even planned a career path, to stand out in the circle and become an excellent coffee shop manager.
The coffee shop sits on the riverside of Binjiang Road, which is flourishing, but the work is not very technical. Every staff member is lazy, like a tangerine peel that loses moisture after drying. And my job is to clean the inside and outside of the cafe, and then wait in the sultry kitchen, send a portion of the steak to the luxuriously decorated hall, and greet another day in the mechanical repeat of “Thank you for your patronage” The ending.
The work was not as bright as I imagined, and standing for a long time made my feet swollen and unbearable. The boss appeared once in a while, proving his sense of existence with a stringent set of store rules. The quality of the guests is uneven, and the service is slightly wrong, and they are often scolded by their noses.
However, no matter how difficult the situation is, on the road where I can finally pursue my dream, my mind is bright and comfortable-like the fish in the net suddenly breaking free, I finally do n’t have to walk heavily into the noisy classroom in the early morning when I ca n’t sleep Do n’t add sorrow to fierce competition, let alone let your life be controlled by others with conflicting emotions.
The blink of an eye was three months, and the boss was preparing to select an employee as the foreman. Upon hearing this news, I was so excited that I had never slept all night and was determined to have this opportunity to prove myself. In the days that other colleagues have lived through, I have studied a lot of catering service books, insisted on formulating work plans, and carefully paid attention to the temperature of each cup of coffee. That vigorous posture can not hold back either.
I believe that all efforts will be seen, and my body is sleeping with a special shimmer.
I spent a lot of energy preparing for the campaign, constantly polished the speeches of the job competition, and compiled more than a dozen suggestions for the improvement of the coffee shop. The formal speeches were also super-level. The applause I received was not less than I expected. However, the news of losing the election dragged me. Back to the cold reality.
Unwilling, I tried to talk to the boss. In the face of my teenage enthusiasm, the other party just waved coldly, reprimanding me to work at ease.
It took me a long time to realize that the elected candidate had already decided that from the beginning, I was a secret joke in everyone’s eyes.
When I first encountered the society, I was hit by an unexpected shock. For the first time, I looked directly at my weakness and weakness. For the first time, I was shaken by this runaway, and for the first time I was suspicious of the eager world.
The cold wave in winter was so fierce that I took two days off for a cold. When I returned to work, I felt that the whole store was covered with a dark cloud.
After careful inquiry, the vase on the piano cracked, and the water in the bottle penetrated into the piano, which required an expensive repair cost. This loss, the boss counted all the employees, and deducted everyone’s meager salary. What made me even more angry was that even if I didn’t go to work that day, I had to share the loss.
In fact, in the harsh personality of the boss, in the empty hall all day, among the people who visited the shop, we could vaguely receive the signal of the coffee shop. It is just like the flashback before the death of life, or the vain prosperity before the collapse of a dynasty, we still do it at sunrise, and do not want to face the fact that everyone ’s loved habitat is about to disappear into the invisible.
The day still came, the slow and affectionate coffee culture crashed in the tide of fast food, the billboard was violently lifted, and the coffee shop shutter door was slowly closed. I hovered on the street with a meager severance payment, and dared not step into the house.
The house turned upside down, and the confused mother called around to find a way out for me. Chefs, barbers, excavators … One by one, ideas are constantly rejected, as if every road is a dead end. The stretched future is due to academic limitations.
I leaned back on the sofa tiredly. The arrogant words at that time had already disappeared, and all my promises had not been fulfilled. I seemed to be riding in a flat boat on the deep sea without the moon.
At a dusk, I sneaked back to school, stood at the back door and looked at the students who were immersed in the books, watching them under the fluorescent light, with their deep, hopeful faces. I suddenly fell into a strong desire, longing for the lush years, the old summer of camphor tree dyed fragrant white shirt, longing for the fullness and fullness, and the exquisiteness and decentness of life without losing control.
After years, I decided to return.
I walked with my blood boiling, covered with dust and wind, carefully cleaned the soft school uniforms, and let those dusty and yellowed books reappear, and I sat back in the sun-drenched classroom to restore the original color of the years. .
The chattering class teacher, the fierce old security guard, the barbecue stalls in front of the school are still smoky, everything is old, but I feel that I have experienced a fission-like rebirth. For a whole year, I have not slept once or watched a movie. Only when I am tired of studying, I will gently bury my head in my arms, and my eyes flash in awkward past.
The third year, the life of wind and hoof disease, gives people the limit of silence. After the calm summer vacation after the college entrance examination, a letter of acceptance from a key university lay quietly in the mailbox, and life turned to a spring blossoming place.
For the rest of my life, I did not live as a boy with a sword and kill a dragon, and I kept being reminded of the painful fact that I was one year behind my peers when I was filling in information and celebrating birthdays. Cherish and rejoice. The teenager once strayed into the depths of the lotus flower, there is nothing wrong, life without mistakes is rare, and there must be a time in life that disappears in the crowd. In that period of time, you seemed to be trapped in a strange circle, where failure and rebellion were combined, but it was also during this period of immersion that you were allowed to fade away the old dead skin to see the truth, and then the young wings will expand and return to Yanqun.
The broken year became the mark and glory, even if the swallow that was single was late for years.