When it comes to Japan, many people can think of the people’s courtesy, caring and warm details, but some people think that Japan’s society is highly hierarchical, people are alienated and indifferent, and lack humanity. Both cold and heat in Japan exist objectively. As a foreigner who has lived in Japan for many years, I feel a lot about it.
Couple dating requires appointment
When I first arrived in Japan, many things made me feel the distance between people. For example, it is impolite to ask about other people’s age, salary, family, etc.; colleagues and classmates are mostly contacted by email, unless they are extremely close friends will add social software friends; when participating in activities, chatting is very hot, but Few people are willing to exchange contact information; many young people rarely contact their families after they go to college; most Japanese parents do not take care of their children, and their children are not obliged to support their parents; Japanese people do not want to have physical contact with others , So it’s not common for boys to hook their shoulders, female friends holding hands or arm arms.
A video uploaded by a Japanese girl on a social media shocked many netizens. The girl said that many Japanese couples only date once a month, and they need to make appointments. Usually they rarely make phone calls. There is no such thing as Chinese couples talking on the phone and saying good morning and good night to each other every day. I once consulted a female classmate in Japan: “Will you ask your boyfriend to reply in seconds?” She was surprised: “Why do you ask for this? In Japan, if the other party responded in seconds, the girls would think that the other party is very idle and has no life of their own. Boyfriend Replying to my message a day later, it all feels normal.” So I am not surprised to see that the expenses between couples are AA.
Professor Sakamoto Haru from Kansai University in Japan also said in “Japanese People Actually Hate Helping Each Other”: “Comparing people from different countries will find that Japanese people lack the spirit of helping each other, and it can even be said that the Japanese people It’s extremely cold.” When large-scale disasters such as earthquakes and typhoons occur, the Japanese can be seen to help each other, but at other times they exclude each other. In 2018, a British social organization conducted a survey in 144 countries around the world on its willingness to volunteer or participate in international mutual aid activities such as donations. As a result, Japan ranked 128th. In 2018, the Japanese cabinet also conducted a survey on whether young people between the ages of 13 and 29 are interested in participating in voluntary activities. The results showed that young people in Japan are the least eager to participate. In addition, Sakamoto Haru also conducted a survey of Japanese people aged 18 to 79 in February 2018 and found that the Japanese people as a whole are in a state of negative or avoiding the concept of “mutual assistance”. The author believes that Japanese people are more inclined to “self-help” or fulfilling “self-responsibility” than “mutual assistance”.
“Don’t trouble others” culture
Living in Japan, I hear the most words
Yes: “I’m sorry for causing you trouble!” “I don’t want to cause trouble to others.” The frequency of the word “trouble” is staggering. When the author first started to learn Japanese, Japanese foreign teachers said: “In Japan, the most taboo thing is to cause trouble to others.” Japanese children are taught “Don’t trouble others” even though there is no explicit requirement in the law. But this is the common value of the Japanese. When searching on Japanese websites, the author even found that many netizens asked: “How to die without causing trouble to others?” What is even more shocking is that netizens answered seriously: “Don’t lie on the rails or hang yourself. This will cause trouble to others. It is recommended to go to a place off the beaten track and take a lot of sleeping pills to die quietly.” What kind of situation is called “trouble”? For example, the sudden cry of children on the subway, the ringing of mobile phones, and the sudden and uncontrollable coughing are all classified as “trouble”. Even if it is a subtle and unavoidable thing, the person concerned still feels that it “brought trouble to others”, so apologizes to those around him. The author has seen two or three-year-old children crying on the subway many times, and the parents immediately stopped it seriously. Some netizens have even seen a situation where parents feed sleeping pills to make children fall asleep because they cry. Perhaps because of this, some people think that the Japanese are too distant and too cold.
In Japan, there are many different rules. For example, if you want to speak honorific words to your superiors and elders, you cannot call or speak loudly on the subway or bus.
If the instrument is not correct, you must apologize immediately. This is cumbersome, but because the Japanese have received this kind of education since childhood, the awareness of observing the rules is in the blood, and it is not difficult to observe it. However, following so many rules, the Japanese will inevitably give the impression of being rigid, serious, unwilling to be flexible, and lacking in humanity.
Human touch in the ultimate details
Things that make people feel considerate and warm in Japan happen from time to time. The Japanese are well-known for their politeness, order and observance, and the quality of their citizens is widely recognized. Many foreign tourists report that when they ask for directions or inquiries in Japan, most of them get warm and friendly answers; when taking elevators, the Japanese politely let others pass first; when you encounter difficulties, the Japanese will be patient and meticulous Help, you can serve with a smile even if you don’t understand a foreign language. Tourists can usually find them if they lose their mobile phones or wallets. The author once went to the countryside of Izu to play. It was getting late and I couldn’t find the way to the hotel. When I was anxious, a local grandfather kindly sent me to the hotel and refused to collect any money. He said: “You foreigners are willing to come to Japan to play, I am very grateful.”
The Japanese pursue the ultimate in details, strive for perfection, and no matter how big or small, they often make people feel considerate. Japan has the world’s number one aging population, so it has already promoted the establishment of an “accessible society”. From the blind roads, braille, and music-like signal lights that can be seen everywhere, to the barrier-free access to subways, buses, and shopping malls for people with disabilities Feel considerate and thoughtful. The chewing gum bottle is equipped with paper specially wrapped around the chewing gum that has been eaten, and there are special maternity rooms in public places across the country.