Last year, my friend Ayou was diagnosed with breast cancer. Fortunately, it was too early to find out, which seemed to be fortunate.
But humans are fragile and sensitive creatures. A little bit of wind and grass can sink into the dark and painful abyss. Ayou fears this “time bomb” that sneaks into his body without knowing when, and no one can tell her clearly. Does a “bomb” still have a stronger blasting power?
The subsequent surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy, and the nausea and vomiting that came with the treatment, tortured Ayou to death. Between life and death, in addition to chewing on her misfortune repeatedly, she even complained about her illness, suspecting that the cause of her illness was the unsatisfactory anger from family and work.
Because of the treatment, Ayou’s hair also began to fall off a lot. Looking at the “bald” herself in the mirror, she always couldn’t help but wonder: “Where is this stranger? Ugly woman?” Make Ayou who loves beauty even more sad.
After the phased treatment ended, Ayou stopped working and rested at home. In addition to eating and sleeping every day, I occasionally go to the hospital for review. The daily routine is simple and boring. The husband who has always thrown away his hand at the shopkeeper has turned into a family cooker since Ayou fell ill. He treats her every day and treats her with good food and drink, and makes Ayou happy every day with a changed temperament. Seeing this man who looked like a different person, Ayou couldn’t help but guess how much sadness and exhaustion was hidden behind that smiling face?
And the children who are in the youth rebellious period also gather Nilin to restore the obedientness of the past, but they no longer have too much “harassment” and “trouble” to Ayou as in the past. Listening to the child’s daily true confession: “Mom, I like eating your cooking the most…” Ayou knows that the child is afraid and begins to experience the impermanence of life prematurely.
In the warm and clear morning of golden osmanthus and autumn sun, Ayou suddenly realized a question: “How long has there been no laughter at home?” Then suddenly came the sentence in his mind: “Symbiosis with disease.” Symbiosis, maybe It means compromise, dedication and tolerance.
Therefore, relying on the gradual recovery of physical strength, Ayou did a meticulous cleaning of the house, went to the district flower shop to buy fresh cut flowers and carefully placed them in the room. After dinner, he cooked the dishes that Mr. liked wine and cooked them in two hours. Wok the old hen chicken soup that the child likes to drink, and then finds out the nice white porcelain tableware that he bought before he got sick but has been useless.
Everything was prepared, and the window saw the father and mother who had finished work and returned from school entering the building together, Ayou opened the door to greet them with a smile… At that dinner, Ayou did not look sad, the child was not careful, and the husband had a drink A cup, there are some laughter at home… Everything is different from the past, everything is the same as before.
On the rest day, Ayou was taken by friends to participate in community activities. In that charity assistance activity, Ayou met an aunt. An aunt in her 60s, with her grandma’s gray hair. Although the hair color is slightly older, the curls are simple and exquisite. The aunt in bright clothes was full of elegance. She said that besides taking care of the young and old and doing housework, she also took time to dance in the park.
It is said that this is her hobby for many years, but also to strictly control her figure. The aunt who maintains a good figure and has a good singing voice, so she is the C-place member of the community “sing and dance troupe”. After chatting, I learned that the busy auntie is actually a person who “pits for the same illness” with Ayou.
But Ayou couldn’t find the slightest grief on the face of this aunt who had undergone major surgery. Although the corners of the aunt’s forehead and eyes were already covered with wrinkles, what seemed to be hidden in those wrinkles was the open-mindedness after the vicissitudes of life and the comforting warm smile.
The aunt told Ayou heartily: “How can people not get sick if they eat whole grains? Although diseases can cause pain, you must not blame the people around you, let alone blame yourself for bad destiny, and remember not to treat yourself as a patient. …After a day to earn a day, just remember that you are precious, because the person who loves you the most is yourself.”
Ayou joked that Auntie’s twists and turns were “chicken soup”. But the joke is a joke. Ayou also admits that her aunt’s open-mindedness is very contagious, so she is willing to treat her aunt as a “year-old friend.” Driven by the aunt’s enthusiasm, Ayou later participated in more community activities.
Later, think about it, those charity activities can help others as well as help others, because when faced with the suffering of more people, you will find that you are not the saddest and lonely existence among these people. Ayou’s mentality has quietly changed, and he no longer regards himself as a patient, and gradually restores the order of work and life.
A few days ago, I saw that Ayou posted a picture of a short-haired beauty in the circle of friends with a text: “The rest of my life will be flowering. When my hair grows better, I will also cut this hairstyle…” I feel that Ayou who loves beauty and life is back…
I remember a writer who said: “Even if life comes to an end tomorrow, you don’t feel regret, and the way to die peacefully is to treat life with respect every day…” I think this respect also includes a little bit of good-heartedness. His mentality, and the perspective of looking beyond the world? As others often say, we cannot measure the length of life, but we can broaden the width of life.