I woke up early when it was dark, and my sleeping boyfriend was lying next to me. I struggled for a long time and decided to get up and turn over his mobile phone. Because I felt he was not right when I came home from get off work yesterday. I wanted to find evidence that he was sorry for me. Of course I didn’t find it.
Actually, I have been following you for a long time. Since the beginning of high school, our class teacher has ordered “Look at the World” for us. Although the class teacher is very annoying, the book book is not bad. I especially like to see your column. I will always find you when I get a new magazine. I always had the idea of writing to you back then, but I didn’t seem to know what to say. After seeing many girls and boys send you emotional confusion, you have answered them patiently. It is like a light suddenly leaking in the crack, I decided to write a letter to you.
My boyfriend and I met in the summer of 2017. It could be lonely or attractive. We were together within a month. We were colleagues at the time and did not make it public. I did not expect this to be a hidden cancer in our relationship. Later, when I wanted to make it public, he disagreed. The reason was that he was low-key and had quarreled several times for this.
The love period is of course sweet. After about a year, I moved to live with him. I gradually realized his shortcomings and his family. I am a single girl. My parents do not recommend me to be with my boyfriend because the family composition is not good. My brother is in jail because of fraud and his family is relatively poor. My parents said, I don’t expect me to marry into a wealthy and wealthy home, but at least I should find a better family than ours.
The reason I was with my boyfriend at first was that I thought he was very smart and bought a house in the city on his own. After he told me about his brother’s situation, I wanted to break up. But he begged me not to leave, saying it was not his fault.
In fact, every time I quarrel, I want to break up. But when he refused to let me go, I felt soft again.
Time passed quickly, and in the fall of 2019, he proposed to me. In fact, my feeling at that time was shock more than joy, but to see him kneeling on one knee, I still took the ring.
This is back to my initial question, I have been looking for evidence of his derailment. Perhaps, I hope he did something sorry for me, I can break up with him without guilt. His parents have been urging us to get married, and I haven’t thought about it, so I just made excuses. He helped me to block his parents’ urging and said that I was identified early in the morning, not afraid.
I am 27 years old this year, and I also discussed with my parents about his emotional direction. The conclusion is that although we want to find better ones, there are no better suitors around! It is indeed an era when girls are more difficult to find boyfriends, and most of their female colleagues are worried about this.
I hope you can give me different opinions and look forward to it!
To put it simply, it’s unwilling to marry, break up and fear there is no better. Riding a donkey to find a horse to 27 years old, the youth progress bar is about to die, and I am anxious, but the other party’s conditions are not good. I will lose face even when I am better, so I hope that the other party will chew, so that I will become the perfect victim in the eyes of my family and colleagues.
Under the circumstances that the other party’s life and death are not derailed, is there any solution to the problem you have been struggling with for a long time?
I think this problem should be considered in reverse. Even if the other party is derailed, will your problem be solved? The essence of your problem is that you are unwilling to marry him, and you can’t find a better one. If he is really cheating, aren’t you more unwilling? Nor will a man appear in the sky to make up for his scumbags.
Such an analysis actually excludes family and social factors. In your heart, it is better for him to derail you. You can’t find a better one, and you are not willing to marry him like this, so you will subconsciously hope that he will be discovered by you every day.
If a person deliberately wants the other party to hurt himself, he must be responsible for the loss, so he longs for the identity of a victim to make up for the deficiencies in his heart. In this incident, you are the person responsible for the loss. The loss is that you have let go first. Once an incorrect idea breeds, there are only two ways, either to kill it immediately or to implement it thoroughly. This reply is your last chance to stifle. If you still can’t stifle, I urge you to simply break up. You really don’t need to use these tricks to hurt the other party deeper and you won’t get sympathy points.
Imagine my other half burning incense to worship Buddha every day or deliberately causing me to cheat, and then kicked me with a pitiful and fierce foot, and let the whole world call me a scum girl, I don’t know if it’s okay, if I were Someday I know, it must be a story of a dead net.
In fact, “disagreement” and “three differences” are the best reasons for breaking up. What we seek in our relationship is harmonious progress, not who is more reasonable, who is more virtuous, who is not innocent and who wins, if it is already centrifuged, whether it is blaming you or him is basically a failure of two people. . It’s also a failure. What’s the use of this arch of perfect victim?