Colleague Sister Wu’s lover died of a sudden illness, and we all sighed. Sister Liu said: “From today, we must have two people in our office to accompany old Wu every day. I can’t imagine how painful she is! Everyday someone will talk to her to speak, otherwise I really don’t know if she can survive this. Off.” After listening, everyone responded and said that they must accompany Wu Wu throughout the journey.
After a while, Sister Zhang, who had not spoken, suddenly said: “We have seen Lao Wu once. I don’t think everyone should go in the future? Sometimes, people’s pain can only be digested by themselves, and no one else needs to be disturbed. “Sister Zhang’s words made me suddenly wake up. In fact, many times, the pain of others really does not need to be disturbed.
I remember years ago, after my girlfriends divorced, I was afraid that she would be sad and went to accompany her every day. Every time she was emotional, she didn’t want to say a word, and sometimes she looked very impatient. I thought my girlfriend was in a bad mood, so I didn’t want to speak. So I desperately had nothing to talk about, and tried my best to enlighten her, saying that it is a good thing to stop loss in time, where there is no grass in Tianya, I will meet better in the future, so wait, endlessly say, sometimes I feel very tired. But girlfriends, naturally have to pay 100% sincerity. Who knows, after two days, the girlfriend finally said to me unbearably: “Don’t come with me in the future, this time I want to stay alone. Rest assured, I am not as vulnerable as you think. In fact, there is no real empathy in this world, and no matter how good a friend is, you can’t really understand your inner feelings.” I suddenly realized that it is also a kind of love and respect to not disturb the pain of others.
For example, when we go to accompany our colleague Wu, everyone means that some avenues enlighten her. For Sister Wu, these words are not painful or itchy at all, and she simply cannot hear them. If one wants to come out of the pain, it is not possible to rely on others. He must come out on his own. In addition, Sister Wu’s suffering is understood only by her own imagination, and may not really understand her. Rather than do itchy work, we should leave a space for Sister Wu to let her digest the pain alone.
Do not want to disturb the suffering of others, is respect for others, but also a kind of self-cultivation. From a certain angle, you have a sense of superiority to disturb the suffering of others, and the person you care about is unfortunate in your eyes and is in a weak position. Even if your sense of superiority is unconscious, it will bring pressure to the other party. Such exchanges are destined to not be equal. Even if you really care about others, it will make the other person feel that your concern is a burden, and it is difficult to refuse and cannot accept it. It is very difficult. After understanding these, you should understand that you should not disturb the suffering of others.
Everyone is a unique individual. Pain belongs to one’s private zone, and others cannot set foot on it. The feeling of pain cannot be measured. In the same wind and rain, you feel unbearable. Others may feel that they are not so destructive; or you feel that something less important is an unbearable weight in the lives of others. The feeling of pain can only be understood by oneself, and only one can digest it. Because only he himself knew where the real pain point was, and then he took the right medicine and adjusted himself. Furthermore, time is a good remedy for pain. Do not disturb others’ pain and give others time to heal. If you go to disturb, you can only strengthen his pain again and again. Because your approach is to imply him: he is a person who is experiencing pain.
Therefore, many times, Mo has to disturb the suffering of others. Give the necessary help to others, then leave silently and pay close attention. Give others time and space to digest the pain, waiting for his wound to heal slowly. The real concern is not to disturb.