The word “wake up”
I met Cai Gao, a famous picture book writer, at a party organized by my friend Zheng Yan last spring. At that time, Teacher Cai had an impromptu speech. She recalled that when her daughter was a few months old, they pinched a nest on the bed and asked the child to sleep on the nest. She noticed that every morning the child opened his eyes for a short time. At the moment, it was a state of special peace and joy, her eyes were bright, not noisy or noisy, “At that time, I felt the word’wake up,’ the feeling of waking up is really great.” Cai Gao The teacher said at the time.
This year, I observed Orange’s life and found that the state described by Mr. Cai Gao, and the deeper meaning of this state, is really interesting.
A child who is awake, physically and mentally, is a blessing to this family.
People often envy me and feel that when I meet a conscious child like Orange, I know what I want to do at a young age, and I don’t need to worry about learning and dancing. It’s really happy. In fact, this is only a part of life. There is another part like this…
Douyin, she deleted
Orange is a child, and the things that seduce other children have also tempted her without falling to the ground.
Douyin is the first thing to seduce her this year. During the epidemic, she wants to take online classes. I have two mobile phones. I will give her one to save trouble. Then, her use of the Internet is limited to watching class group news, listening to English and watching ballet videos. I want to let go. There shouldn’t be any trouble.
The result was a slap in the face quickly. She has been picking up the phone for longer and longer, and she shows a weird smile from time to time. I only learned later that she quietly downloaded Douyin, and in a very short period of time, she followed many Internet celebrities in the ballet industry. She enjoys using their Douyin every day. Not only that, she also filmed and released several Douyin, and actually attracted more than a dozen fans (one of them was her dad, who was forced by her to pay attention to it).
One day when she was on her hips, she used her mobile phone to swipe the vibrato, and she swiped it for 20 minutes. I was furious and told her that all kinds of information on the Internet would ruin her. There is little hope of being admitted to a dance school if you watch other people do their exercises instead of practising your own. This guy was happy and didn’t hesitate at all. He immediately took the phone over, slipped his hand under my nose, and instantly deleted the vibrato.
After that, I re-formulated the house rules, and the control of the mobile phone returned to my hands. Every time she needed to use it, she needed to report verbally, what she had borrowed from the mobile phone, how long she had used it, she couldn’t tell, or she wouldn’t return it, or the reason. If it is unreasonable, refuse to borrow any more Douyin has never been used again. I was actually a little curious at the moment when I was writing the article, and I wanted to know what she had shot in Douyin.
I took away the colored mud
After Tik Tok exited, Cai Ni began to seduce her again. After the epidemic ended, oranges began to come into contact with mud under the influence of my friends. At first, it was not excessive, that is, I played it once a week, and I didn’t take it seriously. Until one day, I caught a scene. She said that she was going to the bathroom that day, but she didn’t come back for half an hour after going there. I thought to myself that it took half an hour to use the toilet, and even the diamond papa should be pulled out, so I went over and looked. It turned out that she was not in the toilet. She was sitting in her room playing with mud. There were a pile of bottles and cans next to her. The number and variety of them made me surprised.
I was angry at the time, but still pretended to be confused and asked her what’s the matter? This guy is very adaptable, so he can do anything if he sees through it, and admits that these muds were bought with her pocket money one after another, and they are usually hidden somewhere I don’t know. She also knows to be addicted. Playing with mud is not good, but during these days she was tempted by mud from time to time, always thinking about these things in her heart, and she felt powerless about it.
Then we both looked for a way to deal with the mud, and finally she made up her mind decisively: “You take away all the mud and put it somewhere I don’t know. Don’t let me see it again!” This is for confiscation. Ah, before she changed her mind, I hurried to get a bag and packed all the spoils. In the first few days, she was still worried about the mud, and reminded me every day: “Mom, you must hide it, don’t be discovered by me!” After a few days, she forgot about it and never mentioned it again. Up.
Mother’s most important function
Turning the page of Caimu, is it completely peaceful? no. Still have to fight against endless slack. One day she complained to me before going to bed: “Why didn’t you come when I called you to the library to read when I was practicing dancing?” “Why did I come over? I stayed by the fire and read so comfortable.” “I just want you to come over. “Why?” “I’m a bit lazy today, I hope you come over to scare me.” Ha ha, my gentle and lovely old mother, whose function is valued by her, is actually sitting there at the critical moment in the town house, like a tigress Show off your prestige. Okay, well, since she has such a peculiar need, I will not be polite in the future.
“I used to be addicted to playing mud is really stupid. I wasted a lot of time.” One day, she looked up from a book and sighed regretfully.
At that time, I knew she was “awake”. The swaying lamp in her heart, after several winds, finally passed through the dimness and became bright. Her heart was clear at that time. She knows where she is, where she is going, and what to do now.
When her life state is awake and clear, the books she saw, the teachers she met, and the opportunities she got could really have an effect on her.
Orange and I often communicate and discuss our respective life states. Sometimes, I spend the whole afternoon reading a book by the fire, and I read a book of hundreds of thousands of words. Sometimes I watch a movie, sometimes write an article, and sometimes ponder a topic. These afternoons make me feel very fulfilled, but occasionally There will be a certain afternoon when I am irritable and inefficient. I searched through Taobao and checked WeChat. I didn’t do anything at sunset. At this time, I would frankly tell Orange: “Today your mother is really a jerk. I wasted an afternoon. , I feel frustrated and disappointed with myself.”
I showed my life state at a glance to this child, expressing my definition of time and meaning, as well as my judgment and control of the quality of life. I showed her my weakness and strength, my compromise and perseverance, my regret and remedy. The so-called family education, I think it is about this process.
I provided her with a real template, and let her continue to modify it into her best version in the long and protracted river.
The child’s mind needs to be awakened
Nowadays, there are a lot of children in Miwang. In addition to the negligence of the parents, an important reason is that the children’s mind has not been awakened. They do not see a more meaningful existence, so they are easily lured by superficial foreign objects.
There is a well-known junior high school in my city. A boy was so fascinated by online games that he bought a mobile phone with the lucky money from his parents and brought it to the school. The school was strictly controlled and the dormitory could not be put in, so the boy aimed at the toilet ceiling. There is a hole just enough to fit his phone. Every night after that, when the dormitory teacher fell asleep, the boy quietly ran to the toilet and took out his mobile phone to add to the game. The other children in the dormitory also wanted to play when they knew it. So this dormitory set a detailed mobile phone time. The distribution system, they agreed that each person would play for an hour, one would wake up the other after playing, and so on. After two weeks, the teacher found that the children in this dormitory were all collapsed during class, and the perpetrator was found after investigation. The boy was warned and his cell phone was confiscated, and the late-night game gang was disbanded.
In this school, another schoolmaster boy, at a critical moment when he was only half a month away from the high school entrance examination, was tempted by online games and couldn’t help himself. One day his mother discovered that the sports ring showed that he had only slept for two hours the night before. I immediately forcibly disconnected the internet at home, but it didn’t work. He knocked on the mountain and shook the tiger again. Then the boy took the initiative to hand over a privately-hidden cell phone: “You quickly take it away. This thing is poison. It will harm me!” Early, the boy was unaffected and successfully entered a well-known high school.
“Wake” parents and “awake” children
If our parents and schools have been forcing their children to take high scores, and fail to provide multiple, persuasive, long-term goals that are enough to inspire children, more and more children will be tempted by the Internet and electronic products. We need to explore greater possibilities within the family, and explore more and more personal and niche growth paths. How to become the person you want to be, how to build a free and happy life, how to earn one million before graduating from university, if parents often lead their children to these interesting topics according to their children’s characteristics, nurturing may become impossible same.
We cannot ask a child to stay awake at all times. This is unlikely. Because we adults may not be sober every day. We often fall into drowsiness and chaos. This is the most common state of life. Some people I know have never been sober in their entire lives. They lived a life with the flow.
If we are lucky enough to see a child wrestling with his groggy, this is a very meaningful process. Maybe he needs us to kick him to the awake zone, maybe he can walk back on his own. Those children who “woke up” in time, their accumulated experience of how to resist drowsiness and how to clarify their own life, will undoubtedly benefit later life.
A person’s life is a cycle of countless drowsiness and sobriety.
Teacher Cai Gao was right, and the feeling of “waking up” was really good. Let us all become “awake” parents, with the strength and wisdom to accompany and lead the children behind us, either “sleeping” or “waking up”.