In mid-June, a popular topic on Weibo, where young people get together, was the topic of “how frugal ordinary people live”. In fact, it is not just Chinese young people who have become more rational in consumption, but also young people all over the world. Recently, a global survey showed that due to the impact of the new crown epidemic and rising material prices, young people have tightened their wallets to varying degrees. It may not sound great, but in the long run it may be an opportunity for change: to break free from the fog of consumerism and re-emphasize your inner needs.
Factors Affecting Consumption
1. The new crown epidemic is still repeated
2. Global inflation, expected income reduction
3. Supply shortages and transportation interruptions continue to affect the supply of materials 4.
The conflict between Russia and Ukraine affects consumer sentiment .
Reasons to reduce consumption
Anxiety about the future affects people’s desire to spend money.
Consumer habits are changing
The price is expensive, the money is hard to earn, and people are becoming more and more reluctant to spend money.
Rising prices change consumption choices
As the cost of goods and services rises, people will continue to rein in their consumption levels, opt for cheaper alternatives and cut back on non-essential purchases.
”Girlfriend” said: Most young Chinese consumers believe that due to appropriate reduction in consumption, their financial situation has improved. Perhaps, the sense of satisfaction in life comes not only from the moment of shopping, but from the sense of daily value.
Being a full-time mother is probably the most laborious and thankless job. Taking care of children, cooking, and doing housework, every day is busy, but not very effective. Children are sick, study well, and even thin, and they will all be accused: You are How did you bring the child?
What is the life of a stay-at-home mom like? In this issue of “Real Life”, let’s listen to the true inner voices of stay-at-home mothers and those around them!
After becoming a stay-at-home mom, I was depressed
——Observation of stay-at-home mothers
Narrator: Ruth Lu has been a stay-at-home mom for five years
In my eleventh year of marriage, my fifth year as a stay-at-home mom, I was planning to go to the hospital to treat insomnia, but was diagnosed with depression.
I am a person who loves life. I like to draw, do handicrafts, and play musical instruments. How could I be depressed?
Before quitting my job, a friend who had a good relationship with me advised me to be cautious, because going home to be a stay-at-home mom would mean taking the initiative to cut off my career, staying at home for a few years and finding a job again would be very passive.
At the time, I was 33 years old, and my work was in a bottleneck period. I was under a lot of pressure and I was not happy. In addition, I found that my relatives and friends around me were particularly concerned about the cultivation of the next generation, which made me very anxious.
After becoming a stay-at-home mother, her daughter’s study has become the top priority in her life. The result of this is that my daughter seems to be getting more and more “excellent”, and my social circle is getting narrower and narrower, and many sisters who used to have good relationships have gradually become sparse.
Not long after the child entered primary school, I found that her concentration was very poor. There was a time when our mother and daughter often fought over homework, and I fell into a boundless depression. I didn’t know if my children were stupid or if my teaching method was wrong.
When she found out she was pregnant with her second child, the eldest was in second grade.
After the second child was born, my mother came to help us. I felt a lot more relaxed in my housework, but new problems appeared – my mother and I had a lot of conflicts in parenting concepts. When raising the second child, conflicts often occurred, and I even criticized me. When I was the eldest, my mother was always there to protect me. The eldest became more self-willed when he depended on him.
During that time, I was very tired. The second child and the younger one often cried, and the first one didn’t let me worry about studying. I couldn’t stop sighing, and I always wanted to cry. It was annoying to everyone.
I regret calling my mother over to help take care of the child. I really want her to go, but I feel that I can’t leave her for a while. After all, my lover has to go to work, so I can’t bring a few months old baby to pick up the child, right?
The eldest aunt is an elementary school teacher. Knowing that the boss has poor concentration, we suggested that we take her to the hospital for a test. As expected, she was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). Only then did I realize that she was not deliberately inattentive, but unable to concentrate.
To be honest, I was quite desperate at the time. I quit my job and devote myself to my company. She actually suffers from ADHD? On the one hand, I was disheartened by her illness, and on the other hand, I blamed myself for being impatient with her before. Don’t say people around me hate me, I’m starting to hate myself.
Later, I often suffered from insomnia, and sometimes it was so severe that I couldn’t sleep all night. I decided to ask the doctor to prescribe some sleeping pills for me, but when I went to the hospital, I found out that it was depression.
At this time, the second child was already one year old. My mother proposed to take the second child back to my hometown and let me treat the disease with peace of mind. Although I was reluctant, I still agreed. I have problems myself, how can I take care of the second child?
Fortunately, my family is more supportive of me. After my mother left, my lover is more involved in parenting. After a period of medication and self-regulation, my condition has improved a lot.
Now I hope that after I get better, I can take my second child back and become the confident and sunny mother I used to be.
How do you feel about stay-at-home moms?
The elder said:
In the past, we planted a few acres of land and brought up our children. Nowadays, young people have a good life. They have washing machines for washing clothes. If they don’t want to cook, they can buy ready-made ones. At that time, we not only had to take care of children, but also to serve a large family to eat, drink, and laugh. If not, we could do it. Today’s children are too squeamish.
——Aunt Cai, 70 years old
Before raising a child, there were so many things to do. It was enough to cook a meal for the child to make him full, but this is not the case now. The old man and I, as well as my daughter-in-law, and three adults were all dazed around a child, and the schedule for picking up and dropping off the child was full every day. When the child learns the pipa, the daughter-in-law will learn to recognize the music; as long as the child does the homework, the daughter-in-law will stay by the side for as long as possible. I always tell my son, don’t look at your wife’s absence from work, she is actually busier than you.
——Aunt Zhang, 60 years old
My wife is very dedicated and contributes a lot to the family, but in traditional society, their value is underestimated. I agree with the payment of housework. In addition to monthly household expenses, I will also give her a “salary”. I said to her, “It’s not for family expenses, it’s for your personal income.” I think the secret to getting along with a stay-at-home wife is to never have the idea of ”you’re raising her.” The two of us just A family with different divisions of labor.
——Gao Lei, 43 years old
My conversation with her became more and more trivial. I was tired when I got home from get off work. She always told me about the parents of the neighbors and the parents of the children’s classmates… I really don’t care what happened to them. I think my wife’s life is too narrow, she should jump out of her parents, at least look at the changes in the world.
—Dr. Card, 35
I am a working mother, and most of the full-time housewives I know are neighbors or mothers of children’s classmates. I sometimes feel that they are pity and pitiful, it is a pity that they sacrificed their lives for the sake of their family; pity that they have nothing in life except their husband and children… Maybe I think too much, maybe they are happy in their own world live.
——Xiao Wei, 31 years old
I think being a full-time housewife in China is very hard and tiring, because Chinese men are too little involved in housework. Many fathers take time to change their baby’s diaper after work, and they will be praised as “perfect men”. The society has much higher requirements for women. They have to take care of their families wholeheartedly. Many people are forced to be full-time housewives, but the society and the law do not give them enough respect and protection. Their sense of security comes from their husbands. out of control.
They need to be respected and seen
——Thinking about stay-at-home mothers
We interviewed dozens of stay-at-home mothers, and most of them said that they did not volunteer to be stay-at-home mothers, but were forced to work because no one helped to take care of the children or for other reasons.
This phenomenon is very common in Eastern countries. In our neighboring South Korea, one out of every five married women quits their job because of marriage, childbirth, and childcare.
In my country, there are significantly fewer full-time nursing fathers than full-time mothers. Women are given more obligations and responsibilities because of their “motherhood”. Some even call it “motherhood punishment.” Although most stay-at-home mothers say they will go out to work if the opportunity arises, in reality, after a few years of hiatus in the workplace, it’s hard to get high-quality jobs to offer them.
In the 1970s, Western countries launched a campaign to “compensate for housework”, and even established a “housework wage committee”, but it ended in failure, because within the family system, no one would “pay” for housework.
This year, a housework compensation case in Suzhou hit a hot search. Mr. Tan and Ms. Wang got married in 2015. Due to the premature birth of their son, Ms. Wang quit her job to take care of the child at home full-time. Seven years later, her husband sued for divorce, and Ms. Wang asked for compensation for housework. According to the relevant provisions of the Civil Code, the court finally ruled that Mr. Tan should pay Ms. Wang 30,000 yuan in economic compensation based on the time of marriage, income and other property divisions between the two.
Although this compensation is very low, such a precedent is a welcome phenomenon, which shows that household chores are no longer free and unpaid.
Full-time mothers need to be respected and seen. It is an active choice to hope that more people will become full-time mothers, not a helpless one.
As Zhao Nanzhu, the author of “Jin Zhiying Born in 1982” said, I hope we can try our best to find a way to make our daughter’s growth background better than our past growth environment. I sincerely hope that every daughter in the world can embrace bigger and more limitless dreams.
Quick Q&A for stay-at-home moms
Q: As a stay-at-home mom, what hurts you the most?
Li Zi doesn’t talk: The child’s studies are not very good. My mother-in-law often said, “You graduated from college, why can’t you even manage the children’s studies?”
Xiao Xie: My daughter is a thin body, and I am always asked, “How is your baby? So thin”, it’s like I don’t feed my baby…
Ann: Once my child was late, the teacher said that I, a mother, don’t set a good example for my children!
Qingqian: I have two children who wash clothes almost every day. People always say, isn’t there a washing machine? God knows that children’s clothes are often stained with rice stains, oil spots and even ink. They have to be washed by hand every time, and light-colored clothes sometimes need to use 84 disinfectant. Can this be solved by a washing machine?
Q: What kind of support do you hope to receive?
Xiaoxiao: I hope the society can give more support when full-time mothers find jobs again.
Xiaocao: I hope the society can open more kindergartens that can be attended after one year old, so that I can return to work as soon as possible.
Miffy: I hope my family will not be too harsh on me. As long as the child is uncomfortable and encounters problems, they will think that I have not brought the child well.
Plum does not speak: If you give me one day off a week to catch my breath, I believe my happiness index will be higher.
Girl Bear: It’s too uncomfortable to always ask people for money. I hope full-time mothers have more opportunities for flexible employment while they are raising children.