Missed him all life

What is love? In Zhang Mingmei’s opinion when he was young, it was not hard liquor, but it should be greasy sugar. Either a chilling cold wind or a gentle spring rain. But how could she feel that way with her first love, Liu Guiqiang? As if drinking a glass of warm water, but that’s it. The two people who truly love each other did not come together because of their very different personalities. After many years, Zhang Mingmei realized that the best man was this modest gentleman who was “not salty, not mild, and tepid.”

Blind date
It would be most appropriate to describe the man Liu Guiqiang with boiling water. Why is this feeling? Because he is not tall or short, his body is not strong or weak, his character is not strong and not tired, and his actions are not anxious or slow. Therefore, during my time with him, my overall feeling can be summarized in 8 words: “not salty, not light, not warm and not hot”! There is no such thing as a love lover.

Actually, it doesn’t blame anyone. Blind date, blind date, love is not love. And Liu Guiqiang is equivalent to a cow brought by the matchmaker. That year I was 24 years old. After graduating from vocational high school 3 years ago, I entered the state-owned unit where Liu Guiqiang worked through a relationship with acquaintances and worked as a warehouse keeper. Liu Guiqiang was the secretary of this unit, nearly 30 years old. Has not been released.

It is said that when a person is thirsty, it is normal to find a glass of warm water to drink. After all, I am of a suitable age for marriage, and I should put my personal issues on the agenda! Although Liu Guiqiang didn’t make me happy, at least he didn’t hate it either. He is not sharp and acts without pressure. What is more worth mentioning is that he has a Sven scholar face.

After a period of contact, each other’s personalities were revealed: he was conservative and unwilling to go out. He likes dancing and writing, and is a special correspondent of several media; I prefer to sing and dance, and I have represented the city team in Beijing to participate in the competition … a loving and active! It seems that the car running on the two roads is not going the same way. According to a fashionable phrase now, that is “the three views are not the same”!

My girlfriends didn’t think so when they understood the situation, they teased in unison: This is called “characters and husbands complement each other!” I disagree with this view. Anyway, I feel that being with Liu Guiqiang is tedious, and I can’t feel the madness and sweetness of people in love.

Soon, I asked a matchmaker to test Liu Guiqiang’s tone to see if there was a need for further association. Because I don’t want to be a villain, I want the other party to retreat first. I did not expect Liu Guiqiang to say something amazing: “Action is the best language. If there is no need to communicate, I will refuse her the same day.” The matchmaker followed Liu Guiqiang’s words and asked him why you didn’t confess it or offer something Attentive? Liu Guiqiang’s answer was even more shocking: “I wasn’t born as an active person. This may be due to my personality! However, she can take the initiative! Love does not require men to chase women!” It really can be described as thundering ears, shaking the enthusiastic matchmaker with ears and gas, almost standing unstable …

After listening to the feedback from the matchmaker, I was so angry that my eyes were crooked! I’m not someone who can’t marry, why should I chase you down? For this reason, I also complained to the matchmaker. But the matchmaker comforted me and said, “Liu Guiqiang’s character is like this. If you think he is still worthy of association, you will be wronged, and you can take the initiative to take the initiative. As long as it’s not a matter of principle, you can take it easy. Think about it, since you don’t hate each other, take the initiative! Didn’t someone say that it is a blessing to suffer?

At noon one Sunday, Liu Guiqiang’s mother had not returned from a business trip outside the city, so I went to his house. Because of the hot weather, I wanted to take a rest at his house after dinner, and he let me sleep in his mother’s bed. However, after I lie down, I feel completely sleepless again! At that time, Liu Guiqiang was still washing the dishes in the kitchen. I thought and wondered, would he come to me after he was busy? What will happen after coming? The more I wanted my heart to beat faster, my cheeks turned rosier! I longed and nervously waited for his arrival.

When I heard his footsteps getting closer, I looked up to the sky and closed my eyes. He tiptoed to the bed and called me softly, and I pretended to be asleep-no answer. At this moment, I was in a rush, and I don’t know what will happen next! He stayed for a while, probably worried that I might get cold, then turned back to his room, took a pillow towel and put it on my body. After setting up, he returned to his room …

At this moment, I have mixed feelings in my heart, I don’t know if I am moved or angry, maybe both! Anyway, when I was lying in bed, my inexplicable tears burst out! What time is it, and there are such old-fashioned people?

In the face of this silly hat, what should I do? After thinking over and over again, you can only let things go for the time being, and then you can see the effect afterwards.

In this way, although we are still nominally male and female friends, we still haven’t spent a lot of time with me. The only thing he did that was a bit romantic, was to invite me to a movie-an American comedy, and I was amused by the actor’s antics. At that time, the applause and the laughter continued, and only Liu Guiqiang was sitting in an impassive position and expressionless. The appearance of bitterness and hatred made me embarrassed, in the clouds and fog! I thought, if I’m in a bad mood, can’t I stay at home? Why do you want me to come out and watch a movie?

I’m so angry with such a boring chicken who ignores my existence! After I returned to my home, I went into meditation: I haven’t been in contact with Liu Guiqiang for a short time, but he is stiff with wood! What’s the point of finding such a dumb man who ignores me? It’s really hard for me to go in and back out. However, time is not forgiving! As the years go by, I am no longer young!

At the dilemma, the matchmaker pointed me to the perplexity, taught me to do the opposite, and took Liu Guiqiang’s approach in an attempt to repair him—cold him for a while. I think then try it, only dead horses can be treated as live horses.

But all my efforts are futile! How can a person like him who “ca n’t make a loud fart on three bars” change his habit that has been developed? For a while I avoided him, he only called once and didn’t come to me! I’m terribly angry-I don’t have to marry you, why should I hang on this crooked neck tree? !

To this day, Liu Guiqiang has become a chicken rib in my heart that is “tasteless and unfortunate to give up”! Eventually, I was shaken by Liu Guiqiang and fell into deep disappointment.

That is our unit to raise funds to build a house. If Liu Guiqiang participated in the fund raising and asked me to marry me and register for a license, then we are justified workers and we have the right to buy first. The location of the house is less than a hundred meters away from the office where Liu Guiqiang works, making it easy to get to and from work. Therefore, I spurred him to sign up for payment and explained his views to him. I told him unambiguously that after marriage, I didn’t plan to live with my mother-in-law under one roof, because from ancient times to now, my mother-in-law is like a natural enemy! Especially like Liu Guiqiang’s mother, always like the old hen to protect the chicks, do not want him to leave his sight! I am afraid that when there is a dispute with Liu Guiqiang after marriage, a war will break out between mother-in-law and mother-in-law!

However, in the face of my good intentions, Liu Guiqiang scoffed! Because he has a strong sense of dependence on his mother and is like a child who is not weaned, he is unwilling to live separately from his parents. I felt uncomfortable seeing him disobey.

In order to test Liu Guiqiang’s mind, I decided to stage a prank in front of him. After making up my mind, I wondered how the plot evolved in my mind.

I know that Liu Guiqiang is usually quiet and simple in clothes. Therefore, what I showed in front of him was all plain. One morning, I deliberately bought cosmetics to dress myself up. After that, I invited a male student from the former high-level class to help out and walk along with me on the road that Liu Guiqiang must go home.

After a while, when I saw Liu Guiqiang riding on his bike calmly, I quickly approached the male classmate, and then talked with him slowly and laughably, deliberately not looking at Liu Guiqiang. But from my light, you can see that Liu Guiqiang was looking at our faces, and I pretended to turn a blind eye …

After Liu Guiqiang rode past us, I looked back and saw that he stopped not far away and then turned to another fork in the road. I was ecstatic and had a provocative pleasure.

That night, I did not go to Liu Guiqiang, but stayed in my room alone, imagining that Liu Guiqiang was frowning at this moment to reflect on himself. Thinking about it, I couldn’t help but laugh secretly!

In the afternoon the next day, the matchmaker hurriedly came to the door and asked me with a stern face: “Liu Guiqiang slammed me yesterday, saying that you are water-borne Yanghua, do not abide by the woman’s way! What is going on ?! Listen, I am happy— —Liu Guiqiang is jealous! Just be jealous. It seems that he still cares a little bit about me. Of course I care, so I can ask him to move out and live alone with me.

In order to expand my record, I “suddenly understood and pretended to be confused” and did not respond, only to wait for Liu Guiqiang to come to me and “provoke me to blame.”

However, one month passed and Liu Guiqiang had no news. I was so disappointed, so angry that I hated him! So, I secretly decided that I would never look for the four indifferent man who was incomprehensible, unfashionable, thoughtful, and unknowing.

Liu Guiqiang certainly still remembers and hates me, otherwise why would he not keep in touch with me? Fight against each other! No one wants to serve softly first, and has not asked for a matchmaker to mediate! In this way, more than a year of love, declared dead.

Nearly 27 years old, I am a big boss in this bright city. Seeing the children of the same age living with me, I really sweat for my future!

Time passed day by day, and finally at a friend’s party, Li Zhenmin’s light covered Liu Guiqiang.

Li Zhenmin is engaged in sales in a company. He is a burly man with a magnificent personality, and he took the initiative to stop me at the wine table. He talked straight to the women at the wine table, but it was all right, so that the women could feel the light shining on the atrium just like the warm sun in winter. This can’t help but shine! In front of his full manliness, Liu Guiqiang’s self-hiding temperament instantly turned into a small humble moss. Therefore, Li Zhenmin and I approached, and Li Zhenmin’s can-saying character made me very happy.

But after a drink, the human-faced Li Zhenmin rushed in and turned me into his woman without mercy. Afterwards, he said those three words to me-I love you! I shed tears, but it was not moved, but tears of shame! Thinking of Liu Guiqiang, in the past two years of contact with him, he has not even touched a finger of me! And Li Zhenmin and I have known each other for less than 3 months, so he was … at this moment, I felt very lonely.

However, this road seems to have to go down. Because the lost woman is not to be seen! So, before the National Day, I and Li Zhenmin registered to get married. The next year, her daughter was born. In order to take care of my daughter, I quit my job and became a full-time mother.

The ancients: Whatever the beginning, there is the end. After marriage, Li Zhenmin often entertained outside, sometimes even staying home at night, showing his unruly romantic personality. And I need to take care of household chores and take care of my young children, both physically and mentally, and restless. Therefore, whenever I saw Li Zhenmin returning home with a glorious color, I became more and more resentful when I was angry! A word of carelessness will provoke Li Zhenmin into anger and even throw a fist at me. In the face of this big man, I didn’t even have the skill to fight it. How come I can fight back? I was often beaten by his nose and swollen face, and miserable! After each domestic violence, he would leave the door and leave the sad long night, let me stand with bitter tears …

In the end, I chose to go our separate ways—the five-year marriage building collapsed.

Every night before falling asleep, Liu Guiqiang’s figure will appear in the window of my memory. Remembering the dates of that year, it was almost at his home. He read his books and wrote his manuscripts; I watched my TV and knitted my sweater. At 10 o’clock in the evening, Liu Guiqiang took me home on time. The road is long, but the words are few … Now I think of the scene, always surrounded by warm air. But I was not content at all, and walked out for no reason until I met the severe winter of marriage.

Liu Guiqiang—This name is like a bright moon hanging in the vast night sky. Its fullness, tranquility, and erratic clouds cover its light from time to time. However, in front of my eyes, I have a sense of clarity that I have never had before! He became clearer in my memory.

I heard people say that he has already set foot in the sea to do business, and that the business has been done well, and he has already joined the family with cars and cars. I’m deeply surprised: People who are honest and honest, even dare to give up stable, mid-day work, and integrate into the tide of the rolling times, which makes me see that he is not easy …

The night before, I wandered in my memories and couldn’t sleep all night. I woke up the next day and I went out with my sleepy eyes open. I vaguely felt a familiar face pass me by the door of the mall. Just in a flash, I realized what! I quickly turned my head, eyes and just happened to be intertwined with the person who was also looking back.

Liu Guiqiang! I was hesitating, but Liu Guiqiang came forward. He changed his previous hold and became more proactive! This, I can’t help but feel extremely amazed. His outline has not changed much, but his skin color is darker than before, and his body is stronger, more masculine than before!

and I? After years of pain and suffering, people are already old and faint. The thought of chill struck me! I dare not face up to Liu Guiqiang’s gaze. As if that was the only way-I couldn’t see him, and he couldn’t see my misery.

We greeted a few words and noted the other party’s mobile phone number, and Liu Guiqiang hurried away. As his steady footsteps drifted away, my nose suddenly became sore and tears could not help falling down.

The reunion with Liu Guiqiang officially opened the prelude to my remorse and thoughts. My heart is ebb and flow, I can’t calm down, but it’s hard to talk. After much thought, I began to learn to write a diary and sing a monologue in the diary.

In my opinion, although Liu Guiqiang’s life has entered a well-off life, he still maintains the simple quality when observed from his clothing and dress. In the face of me, he was demure and decent. And my marriage is broken, I can’t help but long for this peaceful harbor.

After having this unrealistic idea, I started to pay close attention to Liu Guiqiang’s family situation. After a period of inquiry, I learned that his marriage life was not satisfactory. Because he is a Ma Baonan, his lifelong affairs are arranged by his parents. In the second year after his marriage, his daughter was born; in the third year, his mother died! His father was old and frail, so the burden of the family fell on his shoulders! His wife is 8 years younger and willful! And in order to take care of his father’s body, he had to go all out …

I am deeply saddened to learn that Liu Guiqiang’s unequal life situation is more regretful! After hesitating for a few days, I finally summoned the courage and called his cell phone! I bluntly told him that I wanted to ask him to give me a chance to talk, but also to explain the reasons for the breakup. In order not to embarrass Liu Guiqiang, I eagerly stated: Please rest assured that I will not damage your family.

After thinking for a moment, Liu Guiqiang agreed. We came to the same bar. I tore apart Liu Guiqiang from me years ago without reservation, my overwhelming, resentment and my prank! Liu Guiqiang has been listening without interruption. He still, just like he did, always wanted to make the world quiet in his peace.

I don’t want to go cold, and continue to say that it was all my irrational actions that threw myself to the painful cliffs, which led to the evil head of Li Zhenmin taking advantage of it … Until now, I really understand that you have been using a kind of Treat your feelings rationally …

Seeing Liu Guiqiang kept silent, I asked him straightforwardly, “What kind of woman do you like?”

Liu Guiqiang took a sip of coffee and then said gently, “I like kindness and simplicity …”

I pressed step by step: “Do you think I am the type of person you like? Have you ever really loved me before?”

Although Liu Guiqiang felt embarrassed, he did not confess: “You and I have our own inner world. At that time, we couldn’t go further because each other had very different personalities and you were too strong. Although I liked you very much, I had to marry me. Think about it later! I wo n’t say you sing or dance. What I worry about most is that you have bad habits of gambling! ”

“Since you noticed many problems with me, why didn’t you point them out in time?”

“Rengui has self-knowledge. I have never spoken to you before, but I was afraid to say it, and you resent me … I want time to slowly change you. But instead of converging, you are getting worse and worse. Man on the street hooked up! I lost all my face … ”

Liu Guiqiang poured out the anger he had accumulated in his heart. Although it was straightforward, I didn’t mind. On the contrary, he could not help but respectfully: in a bustling city, he could clean himself. Suddenly, all those “not flowing” in my eyes, now all of them have become “tall!”

It’s a pity that time can’t go back! After thinking back and forth, my reason defeated emotions. In the future, the progress with Liu Guiqiang can at best be his spiritual friend, and be the object of talk to each other. Providence makes a difference! Recalling the boring drama I directed, I was really heartbroken and barefoot. However, in the world, there is no regret medicine.

The blues music in the bar was blended into my endless sadness. This glass of life’s cocktail made me feel drunk in pain …