Love before aging

  Han Wen woke up before the early morning, and the lamp on the bed was shimmering on the outline of the window, just like the snorkeling fish out of the water. The corner of the curtain is hung on the lampshade, which is the shape of the octagonal pavilion. He turned his back to look at the convergence of light and skylight, imagining that it was a blend of two kinds of sea water, warm colors belonged to table lamps, and cool colors belonged to the morning. The female partner who fell asleep turned over and opened her eyes. She is slim, black and soft, twenty-five years old, from other countries, but can’t see any difference from the women she met before. She likes dogs, hates war, parents divorce, but still changes with the same pace. old.
  ”How do you wake up?”
  ”The sky seems to be bright, and I can’t sleep.”
  ”Would you like to go to work?”
  ”You don’t have to go to work. You have already taken time off.” He said: “I was thinking about the book we talked about yesterday. Swift’s novel.”
  ”Gulliver’s Travels”? My favorite book in middle school, read many times, the Great Man, the Little Country and the talking wisdom horse.”
  ”I have a story inside. A special impression. Gulliver traveled to the Kingdom of Ragenag and saw ‘Strubrugg’.”
  ”Strubrugg is a long-lived person who lives forever, but has been aging. Has been aging, wrinkled skin, hair loss, eyes become stunned, and gradually lost even the ability to speak, lost the human shape, become an ugly monster, but can not die, because they can live forever. This is my first Once I felt that aging is a miserable thing.” She said: “I started to worry about my 60s when I was sixteen. I feel sad when I think that I am getting old. I will not look good, I will become a monster. ”
  ” aging will People lose everything older, feelings will dry up, “he said:”… You no longer easily fall in love with someone else. ”
  ”This is the reason why I travel here. I like it here. Your city is very beautiful. The streets are full of energetic people.” She said: “I can hardly see the elderly, I thought you were old people. It’s hidden. The streets are full of young people with no wrinkles, young and beautiful, but they look sad.”
  “That’s not sad, it’s shy.” He said: “That’s because we are always young. A sense of shame. Young is a sin, a country that is always young is shameful.”
  “Talk to me about it, for me, this is a wonderful place, I am like Gulliver. She laughed with some awkward sleep and kissed the wrinkles on his forehead. He often does not realize that he has wrinkles. Wrinkles are a sign that he can start talking about stories related to aging. Hanwen unconsciously stroked the female partner’s hair, her hair is as soft as oriental silk.
  “A long time ago, there was a kingdom known for its longevity. It may be related to air, water, vegetation, climate, food structure. In short, people in this country are very long-lived, almost reaching the peak of human life expectancy, both male and female. In the top three in the world’s longevity list, the actual situation is not as beautiful as the world record, especially since the baby’s birth rate is infinitely close to zero after a severe recession in the world economy. After more than a decade of recession, people found that Half of the country is pensioned. The elderly are crowded, overpopulated, severely aging, and resource depletion. This country has become a veritable old country, and the national treasury is unable to make ends meet and is about to go bankrupt. Social unrest, the international situation It was also very nervous, and the neighboring countries were watching, waiting for the old car of the old country, carrying the old man full of cars, sliding to the abyss of extinction. At this time, someone stood up.”
  ”Who?” asked the female companion.
  ”He was the ruler of the kingdom at that time, a wise old man. After meditation, he proposed a legal provision. The elderly consume resources, and there is not much time. For the future of the country, the old age must be eliminated. As long as it is more than a certain age, He must go to the hospital to accept the peace of mind. He proposed a motion in the House to conduct a referendum to decide whether the law was implemented. The referendum was held as scheduled, and the leaders calmly analyzed and persuaded all the people through enthusiastic rhetoric. So the law became The unshakable basic law of the country. His greatness is not only to come up with this law, but also to lead by example and become the first old man to disappear. The old people left one by one and fulfilled their obligations as a national. Almost in In just a few years, all the aging people in the old country have disappeared. This country has only young people who are young and strong, the social resources are redistributed, the economy is improving, the fertility rate has risen sharply, and the fate of the country has been lifted. After the aging of the people, they accepted the basic law of the country without complaint. Generations past, the country has always young, so everyone in the world, said this country for the young country. ”
  Chinese language paused for children:” This is the story of a young country. ” ”
  Before coming here to travel, I have been on the books I know your history. But when I heard it, I still felt incredible.” The female companion said, “Do you not feel it yourself?”
  ”What is special about this? I remember that when I was in elementary school, I came to Japan’s elderly tour group. The school is sensational. We are surrounded by tourist buses, watching the wrinkled faces in the windows like monkeys watching the zoo. I have never seen so many old people in real life, they may be eighty years old. Maybe 90. The Japanese are very long-lived. I still remember the age spots on my face, like their national flags. Later I went to other countries and saw more elderly people. You know, I like to go to nursing homes the most. Lane visited the nursing home is like another world. I like going back a long time ago, the infirm, the elderly country. ” ”
  I’m a little curious, you How to treat their own laws? ” ”
  Peace law? Specific legal age changes a few times, but almost all in about seven years old. The Basic Law has been implemented for nearly a century, we look like the sun that rises naturally look at it. ”
  ”I mean, what do you think about death when you perform a good sleep?” The female companion asked her head.
  ”It’s like seeing the sun fall naturally,” Han Wen said.
  ”Nothing special sadness? Are you used to it?”
  ”Sadness is a natural emotion, just like the moon appears in the night sky.” Han Wen said: “Sorrow is always there, because death is the same, it does not treat it differently.” . ” ”
  I kind of understand what you mean. “crouching companion:” Thank you, thank answer to, how about we go again.? ”
  no, you do not understand. Chinese thought silently. But he did not say it.
  ”I didn’t sleep with the elderly. I have an instinctive resistance to aging,” the female partner said after the end. “Even if I get older, I only sleep with young people.”
  ”I am almost an old man .” “Chinese said.
  “According to your standards?” The female partner laughed: “According to our standards, you are still young and a mature man.”
  “Thank you, thank you very much.”
  He wore clothes, clothes and pants were serious and decent. As a system that must be observed. Everyone’s body must have a standard clothing cover. For the body, clothes are the system. From this point of view, it is the system that reshapes the human being itself. After buttoning the shirt button, he found a bottle of perfume from the bag and placed it on the pillow of the female companion.

  ”Give it to you.” He said: “The perfume from a distant country.”
  ”Will you prepare a gift every night?”
  ”Not necessarily, if you are not prepared, leave breakfast and money.”
  ”That’s not the case .” Become a deal?”
  ”This is not a deal, it is a compliment. When the other party gives you a good time, you should give back a thank you.” Han Wen said: “This is my basic etiquette from the primary school.” The
  female companion received the perfume, sprayed Smell on the wrist.
  ”I am a little hungry, have dinner together at noon?”
  ”I am going to see my mother, will you
  be next time ?” “If there is another time.” She suddenly remembered something: “Can tell me, how old your mother is this year.” ”
  ” Sixty-nine years old.” Han Wen said, “Her birthday next month.”
  ”Ah, that’s not the age…” She thought with her head and put the perfume on the bed. “I don’t know. Expressing my apologies, or saying something to understand, just as confused as hearing my friend’s father getting lung cancer. Say hello to your mother for me, although I don’t know her. Are you sad now?”
  “Now there is no I will tell you. Thank you.” Han Wen said, “Welcome to the young country, I wish you always young.”
  He said blessing to her, then opened the door and left.
  When Han Wen came to the nursing home, it was already noon, and the mother read the newspaper in the room. They went to the star-rated restaurant attached to the sanatorium for lunch, because she had already stayed and enjoyed a 20% discount on the hotel. The waiter smiled and said to him, I can’t see your mother is almost seventy years old. My mother was a very beautiful woman when she was young. It now looks 10 to 20 years younger than the actual age. Even in the sanatorium, there are also old people with white hair coming to pick up. The Chinese language is accustomed to stand on one side and pretend to appreciate the scenery in the yard of the sanatorium.
  This sanatorium is four-star, because the mother’s age and level can stay here. Of course, five-star can also go, but here is more familiar, my mother finally chose here. Dad also left here, when his mother was accompanying him every day. Dad’s sleep is not as sad as he thought. He had cancer. Before the pain in the late stage of liver cancer came, he walked quietly.
  But the mother is different, she has been very healthy, and her mind is not slow.
  This sanatorium is very large, and it is similar to an ordinary university. If it is not because the boulevards are mostly dressed in uniforms and old people, Chinese is a little bit back to college. The architect’s taste is good, and the house is a bit old Greek tragedy. From the carved balcony of the corridor to the yard, the neat lawn has almost no margins, and the road is filled with ancient mottled phoenix trees. There are already phoenix leaves on the ground, and several electric convertibles are driving slowly on the road. A straw-clad old man sits under the tree and reads a book, and a couple walks together on the grass, seemingly saying something to say.
  Mom ended the conversation and walked over to roll up the Chinese man’s arms, just like the previous father. “We took a walk, Han Wen,” she said.
  They walked along the avenue and walked around the lawn. When I was a child, my mother called him Han Han or Wen Wen, but after a certain age, my mother only called him Chinese. Give him this name just because his mother likes Chinese traditional culture.
  ”I was your friend just now?”
  ”I only met after I came in.” Mom said, “He said that I saw me here before. I think it was time to accompany your father five years ago.”
  ”I think this It’s a conversation.” Han Wen said, “I used to say to the girl, as if I had seen you before.”
  “Is it successful?”
  “Only once.” Han Wen said, “And the other party really saw it before.”
  ”Before I married your father, some people talked to me like this.”
  ”Mom, are you married to your father at the age of 35? Why are you married so late?”
  ”It’s thirty-three, and you were born at the age of thirty-five.”
  ”That’s too late.”
  ”Because I didn’t meet your dad before that.” Mom said, “I didn’t think about getting married before that. Your father is also.”
  ”Do you all think that you have to marry?”
  ”Yes. We are not hostile to the marriage system. Besides, according to the policy, after the marriage, you can retreat a large amount of tax, just to buy a house, we are looking for Not the reason for not getting married.”
  ”Do you like my father?”
  ”He likes me very much.”
  Mom smiled and touched her hair, her hair was dry and gray. Chinese understands what she meant. When she was a child, she would open a parent meeting. Other students and teachers would tell him that Chinese, your mother is really beautiful. I have a good-looking mother, and he always thought so, with a little pride and impatience.
  ”I have a good-looking mother.” He licked his mother’s thin shoulder.
  ”What about you, how are you doing now?”
  ”I met a girl from abroad yesterday. I came here after she separated from her in the morning.” Han Wen said, “If you are referring to a date, this is the most recent one.” ”
  I mean if you have someone you like.”
  ”I don’t like a person who can’t date her.”
  ”If you really like someone, you will be dating her for the second time, the third time, you will I always wanted to be with her.”
  ”What are you talking about? Is it like you and Dad, follow an old marriage system?” He said, “I thought about it before, I don’t think about it now, I think this is a mature one. Aspect.”
  An old man who came on the face and they had a face-to-face. He seemed to have just finished crying. It may also be a reddish gland of the lacrimal gland, staring at a hollywood behind them.
  ”Come to the good, fortunately, you are a girl. I know that you are not gay, my father and I were relieved at the time.”
  ”I am a normal male.” He said, “Maybe it is too normal.”
  ”You used to be different. You were very sensitive when you were young. I still remember one of your girlfriends, a high school classmate? That eye is big and melancholy.” “Girls in
  junior high school. Later, I went to high school together. At that time, I always liked her very much. It was a first love.”
  ”Then you broke up.”
  ”Because I went to a different university. My eyes are big, my eyes are depressed. In fact, her character is very hard, and the decision made has nothing to save.” Han Wen said, “I learned a truth from her, and I can’t save it if I can’t recover it. I thank her very much. Later, a dozen We haven’t had any contact in the year until I received a letter from her last year, or mom, you transferred it to me.”
  ”Oh, I remember this, maybe she doesn’t have your current address, she I don’t know if you have moved out of your home. There are letters sent to you from time to time.”

  ”She is thirty-five years old like me. Oh, it should be said thirty-four. Last year we were still thirty-four. She told me in the letter about her situation over the years. She stayed in that city after graduating from college.” At the age of twenty-four, she is a social structure analyst. She is six years older than her, but she is divorced. She has been married twice, the first time because she was derailed, and the second time because she was derailed. She has no children. I was pregnant, but I had a miscarriage. I have never been pregnant again. Very thick letters, a lot of content, I don’t know why she suddenly wrote to me.”
  “Maybe it’s a thought of a love affair, she hasn’t Forget you.” He shook his head.
  ”At the end of the letter, she mentioned her father. Do you remember that she grew up with her father when she was young? Her father was old enough last year, and it was no longer a time to write this letter to me.”
  Mom did not speak, pull Tight in Chinese.
  ”After a while, I digested the contents of this letter. I found a way to find her phone and beat her, but she is already dead, and she took a bottle of sleeping pills one night. I just have it. On the annual leave, I went to attend her funeral. Her two husbands came in, and now the boyfriend, plus me, the three of us drunk after the funeral, and then I came back.”
  ”You
  ”Is it sad ?” “Not sad, but not real. I don’t feel that I used to like her. The feeling is completely gone. She is just a friend I know. Strangely, at her funeral. I remembered Dad, but he said, “Mom, there is one thing I always wanted to ask you, is the button you pressed, mother?”
  They didn’t talk for a while, stepping on the phoenix leaves on the road. go. The cleaners usually clean up in the morning and afternoon, and put them together on the side of the road. At some point in the fall, the garden trade union sawed off the excess branches of the phoenix tree with a saw.
  ”Your father wants me to press the button. It has a strong sense of ritual and is as solemn as the wedding vow. He gave me the power to end his life, so his life belongs to me. I don’t want to tell you now. The answer,” she said. “If I want you to do this, I want you to press the button that stops my breathing. Will you press it?”
  He thought about it for a while.
  ”I do not know, I think a person can not have so much power that no one can decide the fate of others.”
  ”Is not a personal decision, and the decision of the law.”
  ”The law does not have such power.”
  ”This It’s not power, it’s a gift, it’s a commemorative gift.”
  “I don’t know, Mom.” He said, “I’m always a bad choice.”
  “This is no more difficult than getting married.”
  He When I looked at my mother, I suddenly laughed. “I have someone I like.” He said, “I suddenly feel that I can say it.”
  ”What?”
  ”Actually, I have a girl I really like, that is, you said that. I really like it,” he said. “It was the time after the funeral came back. From the time I met her, I just closed my eyes and it was all her image.”
  ”Good look?”
  ”Should be, She is younger and younger than me. I also dated beautiful, but she is different from them.”
  Mom looked at him, “You are in love, my child.”
  “But I don’t want to, I don’t want to admitted. ”
  ” for the Why? ” ”
  We’re dating, but I could feel her heart is not with me. Her happiness is not happy because of me, nor I miss her, and she was the only time my heart. I looked at her Eyes, I feel very sad.” Mom did not speak, just touched his hair, like a child.
  ”But I can’t help but want to see her. I know this shouldn’t be, but I want to stay by her side, even if I don’t say anything, just an hour or two of being alone, talking or eating. But afterwards, my mood is again. Extremely bad.”
  ”I thought you didn’t have a girlfriend.”
  ”After knowing her, I have more times to date strange girls.” Han Wen said, “Since I can’t avoid thinking about her, I try to reduce myself. Time. Others can’t alleviate my desire for her. I thought I could at least reduce one percent, one thousandth, or one ten thousandth of a miss, so the number of times will be reduced to 100%. I won’t feel any pain anymore. But in fact, there is no help. Every date with a strange girl makes me feel more about her existence, and the more I feel her existence, the harder I am restrained. I want to stay with strangers. When I am staying with other people, I can only think of her. When I think of her, I will lose sleep, sometimes I want to say to the girl around me. Then I did not feel that you and I together, I miss another person. Once I actually said. ” ”
  The result? ” ”
  Terrible. “Chinese language shrug. “In the end, I fled.”
  ”It’s good to be alone. Have you considered marrying her?”
  ”If marriage is a way to make her exist in my life, I will marry her.”
  ”If your marriage can last, then you will enter the legal age many years before her. This is the time for you to be separated. Would you want her to press the button? You will be willing to give your life to her. , let everything stop in her hands?”
  ”I am willing.” He said, “If this is the case, I hope she is that person.”
  ”I want to see her.” Mom said.
  ”I will bring her to see you later, but it may not be very fast,” he said.
  ”It doesn’t matter, I still have time.”
  He suddenly felt uncomfortable: “Mom.”
  ”What’s wrong?” Mom licked his head.
  ”I still have work in the afternoon.” He said, “I will send you back.”
  ”No, I can go back.”
  ”I will come back tomorrow night,” Han Wen said.
  ”Han, my mother wishes you to be young forever.”
  Han Wen walked to the gate of the sanatorium and took a few steps. He looked back and saw her still standing. He waved his hand to his mother. An electric car parked beside her, and the mother and the other old people sat on the car together. She said something to the old man next door, and the old man next door also looked to him. The phone in his pocket is shaking, but he doesn’t want to pick it up. It doesn’t matter who calls it. Bach’s cello was heard on the radio. He listened for a while, and when the G string was over, he walked out of the sanatorium and was alone.