How to cure the “fatal little injury” of marriage

  It is often said that safety is no small matter. This sentence is also true in marriage. Why do many couples feel less and less intimate with their partners? It is because they do not pay attention to the “small things” in marriage, and letting “small injuries” become serious.
  The intimacy between husband and wife is based on frank communication and mutual trust. After the contradiction, the speech and behavioral damage will slowly destroy the trust between the husband and wife, the trust is less, the heart does not say, the intimacy is also It’s gone.
  At the beginning of this year, I met the young couples Huang Huang and Xi Ge. They were very loving, but Huang Huang and her mother-in-law were a bit embarrassed in their habits. Sometimes they complained to Xi Ge. Huang Huang discovered that Xi Ge would either comfort her by perfunctory grass, or pretend to be neutral, in fact, and mud. Huang Huang was very upset, and finally one day, the couple had a big fight. Xi Ge is very wronged, Huang Huang is also very hurt, but they agreed with each other for the peace of the family: this matter is over, the quarrel is over. Although they did not mention this issue afterwards, they slowly found that the relationship between them was alienated. Huang Huang is no longer willing to reveal any opinions to Xi Ge, and no longer believe that her husband can protect and understand himself; and Xi Ge also mistakenly believes that Huang Huang is still angry, that she does not understand her own difficulties.
  Usually, after being hurt, people will have emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety, resentment, etc. If these emotions are not channeled and resolved for a long time, it will affect physical and mental health. Sleep, appetite, emotion, and sexual desire may all be possible. Something went wrong.
  Maybe it’s a sentence that deeply touches your emotions. Maybe it’s something that makes you angry. If you feel “very hurt” in your marriage, you must tell your partner and deal with them. This requires going through the following three steps: The
  first step is to identify the damage. There are two small steps: First of all, we must reflect on what kind of place in the marriage that hurts the partner. After listing, confirm to the partner, find out how his mood is at that time; then list the things that the partner once hurt you. Come out, find out if there is any similarity between these two kinds of things, honestly tell your partner: “I hurt you before, I am sad, but now you hurt me, I am as sad as you are now.” The other party produces empathy.
  Doing these things is a bit subtle, and you must wait until your partner’s mood is relatively calm. If the other party has not calmed down, don’t talk about it first, otherwise he will think that you are looking for a quarrel.
  The second step is to apologize to each other. Correspond to the previous step, you must first apologize for hurting your partner, don’t evade and make excuses, apologize to be sincere and specific, such as: “I should not criticize your body shape in front of outsiders, I am not considerate enough, did not take care of To your self-respect. This is definitely my fault, please forgive me.” Then, after getting your partner’s understanding, you can encourage him to apologize. But beware, apologizing to each other is not an exchange. If your partner hesitates, give him some time to let him feel your sincerity and needs.
  The third step is to forgive the partner, and sometimes you may need to forgive yourself. A partner is like us. There are weaknesses and shortcomings in human nature. Since they are not perfect, why can’t they forgive each other?
  Forgiveness is the best way to cure a “small injury” in marriage. Forgiveness does not mean that the second becomes intimate and immediately trusts. It only represents one thing: because of love, you are willing to give each other a step and let him catch his breath. Trust requires a little accumulation. After your partner hurts you, you have to forgive, but it takes time to test your partner and see if he really changes.
  Of course, forgiveness can’t be quick, you need time to choose and reflect. Perhaps after repeated pondering, you will find that sometimes the “small injury” in marriage is caused by both husband and wife, so you must forgive your partner and forgive yourself.
  In ordinary people’s lives, there is often nothing particularly important to “kill” a marriage. Forgiveness is the antidote to resolve couples’ resentment, and it is also a boat that carries couples into an intimate situation. I wish you all a lot of love, a lot of communication, and a lot of forgiveness.