”Children in his hometown. Finland, Japan, Britain, India, Israel.”
Earlier in 2018, Zhou Yijun wrote the above on a paper towel in a coffee shop. She planned to complete a documentary, which was derived from her as two. The confusion of the child’s mother also comes from the rumors of an adult who has experienced an imperfect childhood.
In the next few months, she ran the five countries written on paper and finally returned to China to visit more than 30 kindergartens, primary and secondary schools, universities and other educational institutions, on what is child education and its appropriate way. The answer is not obvious, but “when parents can see different choices in the outside world, their ideas may be different.” The name of the documentary is called “Childhood in Other Places.”
At the end of the Finnish episode, she sat in the forest and said: “The future is never the only one.”
Do children need education?
The earliest fear of education led Zhou Yijun to come up with a very experimental idea: whether children should receive education.
Six years ago, when her daughter was born, she took her child to work after she had finished her maternity leave. It was always the most troublesome when she was on a business trip. In order to save the pumped milk, she sometimes went to the concierge to request to borrow the refrigerator, sometimes to the restaurant, the airport to ask for ice.
The child, “I often think about what kind of state she will not be when she can’t talk. She hasn’t seen her mother for many days, but she may not have the concept of heaven at the time, nor the concept of time, she will not express So what is the feeling of this experience? What is the impact on them? I don’t know.”
Two years ago, she had a son again. There was a business trip, my son squatted on the box and didn’t want her to go. Grandma tried to persuade: “Mom doesn’t work, how can I have money to buy toys for you to buy?”
She suddenly realized that this was a bad set of words, childhood. The children can only continue to accept the things that the people around them bring to them, and become the result of choice. Later, “They know the name of each thing, what is this thing, what is it, this don’t touch, that can be eaten.” Zhou Yijun said, “(but) all these are already the rules of our adult world, maybe In fact, the real world is not like this at all. It is only when they are born that they have no ability to resist the knowledge you give. Knowledge itself is also a limitation.”
“Hey, mom is only working for money? Can you keep toys for your mother? Is it true that the child feels that he is shameful?” she wrote in the article “A mother is on the road.”
When she was learning to ride a bicycle, she thought, I don’t want children in the future, or I have to repeat this annoying process again, but now facing the two children, repetition is her “main action.”
When I was at school, my mother called, “I hit the ruler and broke it.” She thought that if there were children in the future, they would not beat them. But the first time I started playing the daughter was in front of my mother. “At that time, I found out that your only language is violent resolution. I also know that this is not right.”
Plus, see Maria Montessori’s “Childhood” Secret, “You just don’t know how to educate your child. Because the child is always right.”
Zhou Yijun fell into a difficult situation. As an only child who grew up in the 1980s, she experienced rapid economic development. She saw the change of ideas brought about by social change and the public behavior that was not synchronized with it. She did not want to think again with her father. And expression. She knows that this is not the case, but how to let the child know is another homework, such as: “How to force the mother to work for ten seconds?” The journey began.
No perfect childhood
Zhou Yijun and the film crew first arrived in Finland. The highly developed capitalist country has a weak competitive atmosphere. The state provides free education. The school test does not promote ranking. One district school provides the same free lunch. People think that it is closest to home. The school is the best school.
A nine-year-old boy living there feels that nothing is a success here. If you have a job, a wife, a little money, you are already successful.
In November, the temperature in Finland has dropped below zero, and the teacher still took the students to the forest. This is Finland’s two major resources – forests and children, the population is regarded as a very important resource here, so the good welfare conditions provided by the society also make everyone’s growth have more choices.
In a paradigm-learning class, teacher Rani took the children to the elderly rehabilitation center to draw pictures with the old people in order to let the children know what age and time. No one is professional, and those paintings are not for competing with each other, but “can express themselves freely on paper.” Zhou Yijun suddenly cried, and that was the only time she was out of control in the entire documentary.
This reminds her of her childhood. “I belong to about ten academic performances. It is not the best. Chinese language performance is always the first. But because mathematics is far worse, the partial science is more serious, so all along, The entire educational process at school makes me feel that I am not a particularly smart child.”
This was once the source of her conflict with her mother. If you can get a 100 point, the parents will tell her if she can be better. If she gets two, she will hear: Then see if you can keep it next time.
Zhou Yujun’s mother is an accountant and often goes to the bank. In the eyes of the mother outside the glass window, the staff on the side of the glass window is air-conditioned every day, looking comfortable and comfortable. Her expectation for her daughter is to get into a good university and then work in the bank.
In addition to learning, she is almost insulated from art. Whenever she sings, the family will say that you sing like an endorsement; she can’t dance, she was once taken to a ballroom by a friend, and she watched TV all night.
”Our definition of ourselves comes from standardized tests. I am a good student, or I am not a good student. They all come from this, but in fact, what kind of person we are and what rights are far away? More than this thing, there is no way to measure it.”
Until she started raising children, she saw singing songs for her children when she saw the Raiders. “Someone will ask, if I sing very badly, don’t sing to the children. I remember that the Raiders said they want to sing, they don’t know anything. Singing well or bad, you have to sing to him, let him hear.” So she will sing songs now, “What an animated song will sing.”
Good or bad, failure or success is not so important. Zhou Yijun went to Israel, and this familiar war-torn country is now a country of entrepreneurship. The child she saw handed her some business cards with the CEO and CTO. Of course, not everyone will succeed, and most will fail, with a probability of 96%.
”Failure” has a negative meaning in Chinese and English, but in Hebrew used by Israelis, failure is not so negative. Being stumbled on the road can also be called failure. Therefore, “The error is not the end of the world. “Israel appreciates those who can stand up from failure and continue to go.”
“The founders of their college told me that (important) is not to say how much scientific knowledge they have, but that these children will be able to make choices for themselves in the future. This is the most important thing they have learned.”
Zhou Yijun keeps going far Go away and keep approaching your childhood. She remembered a word that she couldn’t tell the reason – loneliness. “I haven’t turned to school. There are a lot of children around. There are better friends. My parents take care of me, but it seems that I still prefer to be with myself. Together, I always hope that there is such a space and environment.”
Li Meizhen, who studies the psychological problems of young people, asked her if she was not cared for for some time at the age of 0-1. She couldn’t remember, she asked her parents, and she could not remember. . Most of her childhood was lost, which made her feel sorry.
“What is a perfect childhood from a personal or more general social level?” I asked.
She is not sure that there is a definitive answer. “Of course, a person’s life – in fact, not only childhood – some people love you, someone cares for you, and then has more opportunities to see the world, of course it is good, but no such It doesn’t mean that your life will be finished, right?”
Children are the ancestors of adults
I called Zhou Junjun on a working day afternoon. She was in Hong Kong, her youngest son was on holiday at home, and the child downstairs came to her house because she moved. The family was very noisy. She went around the stairs. “As long as you have a child, no matter if he is not with you, you will never be able to return to the former state of freedom.”
After the birth of the child, Zhou Yijun only went to Iraq once. She used to be a war correspondent. She spent two years in the war-torn Middle East, taking pictures, interviewing, writing, and seeing a lot of violence, impermanence and death. After returning from the Middle East, she once stopped thinking about many things.
The change that has happened to her children is that they will worry about their children when they go out and worry about themselves. “Maybe my child pulled me out, so many things can be seen from another angle.”
Finally, she found that the answer to the original question was in a summer camp in Xi’an. There are two sheets of paper on the wall, one on the one, and the other on “I like it” and “I don’t like it.” This summer camp, which focuses on critical thinking, allows children to discuss everything on paper.
“How do you explain your mother’s work in ten seconds?”
“Let the children list the reasons for ‘like and dislike’ mom’s business trip. They don’t like it because their mother is not around, but they even have ‘like’ Everywhere, because every time mom comes back, she can bring something new to share.” She replied in “A Mother is on the Road,” and the new things include pine cones brought back from Finland by squirrels and rats. It includes peanuts that have just been pulled from the ground and pulled out from the ground.
Eventually she and the two children agreed that she can travel six times a year, no more than seven days at a time, although they have forgotten about it now. “We also discussed the importance of money and the satisfaction of work. The daughter said that she could not decide whether to be an astronaut or a painter or an animal administrator or a football player in the future. When I left recently, my son did not cry, just gave me a A dinosaur abstract painting (an abstraction is not a dinosaur) is brought along the road.”
Montessori once criticized the arrogance of adults and thought that he had created a child. She believed that the child was actually the father of an adult.
In a kindergarten in Japan, the head of the garden writes a word with a brush every week and hangs it on the wall at the door. On that day, they went to change the word for the next week. The director took out the one from last week. Zhou Yijun asked, what does this mean? Director Yuan A: The child is the ancestor of an adult.
She is deeply touched, her daughter and son are more and more like her, her daughter is appearance, and her son is a curiosity to the inside. “You used to be like that. It was your past. There is another one he just gave birth to. In fact, he carries a lot of our memories, not only yours, but also the natural things of many human ancestors. So we look at children. Don’t think that he is your child, you have the right to control him, but remember that he is actually your ancestor.”
Sometimes when you grow up, you will lose your original things and lose all kinds of possibilities. And education allows people to continue to discover and grow.
Preserving the temperament of childhood
Of course, anxiety still exists. Zhou Yijun found out that if the general anxiety of the fathers comes from always feeling that their children are “not good enough”, then the common question of parents today is “what is the best.”
She accompanied her son to the kindergarten exam. An hour later, the son came out of the house. She immediately ran over and asked, “What did you say?” The son returned to her and said nothing.
”Real, fake, definitely not tested.” Zhou Yijun asked for a month, his son’s answer has not changed. This is what she said. In fact, she did not report many schools to her children like many Hong Kong mothers.
She ran to the interview frequently. “I can’t talk about it.” She respects the child’s choice. She went to see the novelist Zhang Dachun. Zhang Dachun’s calligraphy also requires his child to write a Spring Festival couplet every year, but his children’s time with him to practice calligraphy is “not more than five hours in a decade.” “He feels that Chinese parents should see the nature of their children. Is it necessary? The child is like a kitten who wants to rush out of the door. There is a kind of natural wildness. The
same is true of the parents who have been discussed to teach their children.
“Hey.” For Zhou Yijun, tutoring is not a simple homework. “A lot of times I think we are more anxious. I don’t want the children to think about what to do. It’s not just about homework. From the roots, when he goes to school in the morning, breakfast is sent to him, and then The bag is for others to help him, so he doesn’t have to plan his own affairs, suddenly he has to do his homework, let him take the initiative to do things quickly, and the logic is broken.”
She found that her daughter prefers to paint. The son will observe silently at the side – most of the family speaks English. Once she came back from a business trip, her son will suddenly speak a lot of Chinese. “Comparative and superlative will be used.”
One friend asked her once – “Looks like every Individuals will ask, but I really can’t think of an answer for a while” – What is the fundamental purpose of education?
Children and the world meet at first, they “take their own things to the world.” Zhou Yijun mentioned in the talk show “The Round Table” that there is no education, and there is no education, and it takes time to accompany them. “It must be time. You can give time. In fact, time is a step back. What you can give is life… For my children, I feel that giving them any toys or anything is useless. They want your time. What they want is a very important thing in your life. If you are not prepared for it, then you should not have children.”
On the difficult question of friends, “I now they understand, that is to let children discover themselves, find the relationship between himself and the world. so in fact you are going back half a step, is to help him to develop, to support him rather than going to lead him. ”
she There is a habit between the children called “two minutes”. I spend two minutes each day before going to bed to talk about the things I encountered in my life. What she often tells her daughter is that when she looks back at her education and growth process, she will find out what she has learned in the classroom, and how many points each exam has been tested – even if it is a big deal at the time. – But now, these things will be forgotten, there are only two things left, one is to read a book – not a book in school, and one is to travel.
Zhou Yijun likes to see Gu Long more than Jin Yong, likes to watch Zhang Chengzhi, likes to travel alone. The two things of reading and traveling set her own values and point to curiosity. “And, rest assured, I have reached out to children who are busy with books and are not interested in mainstream. Most of the results are not bad. Really. They are reading the world.”
As Susan Naiman said, growth itself is a great ideal. – An ideal that is difficult to fully realize but definitely worth fighting for.
”If I really have any expectations for my children, I hope they will always be curious, have a childlike heart, and have a temperament when they were young.” Zhou Yijun said.
There was a downpour and the school was suspended. She told her children to go to the mountains with raincoats and saw a very large lizard crawling on the road. “The lips were pink on that day. We all felt incredible at the time.” Just in the rain, I looked at it.