I am 25 years old and I am reading a master’s degree. I am bothered by things like time, space and meaning .
I know something incredible.
I know the name, the year. Hundreds.
I know who is the first on Mount Everest
I know who directed the most lame soap operas in America.
I know that when the air meets the wing, it will create a low air pressure on the upper surface of the wing. This is the thing that makes the plane fly.
I know what Aristotle said is awkward.
I know that time will go a little slower in the sun.
I know too much.
What do I do with them?
Of course I can go to the “Jepadi Knowledge Contest” and the prize is a Greek tour.
But I don’t have a girlfriend. I can only go alone.
But what am I going to do in Greece?
There is no reason to believe that I will be happier there.
If I can have a very reliable feeling and feel that everything will be fine, then how good.
I have two friends, one good and one bad. I still have a brother.
He may not be so kind, but it is still good.
When my brother went out to the door, I borrowed his apartment and the apartment was great. My brother has a few dollars. God knows what he is doing, I can’t keep up with this thing, but it is doing business. Now he is out for a trip. He said where to go, I also remembered a note, probably Africa.
He gave me a fax number and left a message to fax me the email and text message. This is my little errand, simple and handy work.
In return, he let me live.
This makes me very grateful.
This is exactly what I need.
Take time to calm down.
I had a good time ago, so that I was bored.
I am twenty-five years old, just a few weeks ago.
My brother and I had a meal with our parents. The dishes are good, there are cakes. We talked about the sky without a ride. I suddenly got a bit off my parents, which surprised me. I said that they never urged me to train a sport to a very high level. This is very unreasonable.
I said something stupid. I said that I could have become a professional athlete, bodybuilder, rich, and on the right track. The most important thing is that I also said that I have nothing to do now, and that life is dull and boring.
I apologized afterwards.
But this is not over yet.
On the same night, my brother and I also played a ball. This is not a trick we often play. The old croquet equipment has already rotted in the outhouse, and we drove a lot of gas stations to buy a new one. The brother paid the bill with one of his nephew credit cards. In this way, we set the goal in the yard of the parents to set up the goal and support the ball. I chose red, and my brother chose yellow. I don’t know if we used to choose the color from an early age. I can’t remember it.
We started playing for a while. I quickly passed the first two goals and got the reward bar to continue hitting. I am very proud. I became a “pirate” before my brother, so I left my red ball behind a tree, just waiting for him, while joking and joking. I am a little bit smug.
My brother began to squint toward the bushes, and he was no longer playing a few minutes ago.
I can see what he is thinking.
This is really unnecessary, I said.
But I know that he didn’t listen. He put his right foot on his own ball and adjusted the ball to the angle that he thought was the most lethal. He stood for a long time and aimed at the outer edge of the garden. At the edge of the garden, where the grass is no longer just grass, it is gradual into moss. He carefully tried to swing two shots to ensure that his state was enough to give the most powerful blow, and that in order to avoid knocking on his own feet, it would be a shame. In this way he broke my ball into the big bush. He accurately plunged the red ball into the bushes and broke into the center of the bush. There is no sunshine all day long.
This is really a good shot. I don’t blame him. No kidding, I will do the same for me.
But what surprised me was my own reaction.
My plan has always been simple and quite cumbersome. I should have hit the ball to the bottom line if I had nothing to do, and then I wouldn’t prepare to knock his ball out of a distance that would make him incredible. If I lose my hand, I can also retreat because he has not finished this round. But if I hit it, this shot should be able to hit a few kilometers per hour. The most enjoyable thing is to say no when he recommends playing another game after winning.
I don’t even think about these.
I didn’t hit the last time. My brother became a “pirate” and my ball lay in the bushes.
I didn’t give up, I have to chase it back. I am going to hit his ball under the car. This is my only chance to score. He should pay the price, his ball should be stuck under the car anyway. I have to watch him roll up, walk on the ground, or add another belly, so it’s so embarrassing, hehe.
But first I have to get my ball out of the bushes. I uncovered the leaves and pulled them aside, then pressed a flashlight and went back and forth in the middle of the bush. In the deepest place I saw the ball, it is impossible to see that it is red, but there is no doubt that it is my ball. My brother stood there laughing.
I climbed my hand to the depths of the bushes in my mouth. It was very wet inside, so it was a few degrees Celsius to reach the freezing point. I hated this bush from the beginning of the note. Now I should be quick and quick. I am aiming, it should be no problem, I think that defeating is a minute.
I want to win my brother this trick.
But I used three shots to get out of the bushes. When I stood there and took the leaves and the dirt off my body, I still had a flashlight in my mouth. My brother shot again and broke my ball into the bush again.
I always think that there is a possibility that he is not kind enough in his heart, which is one of the reasons. I will never hit his ball in the bushes one after another. Once, it will, but twice will be enough.
I turned on the flashlight and hit the ball again out of the bush. When my brother planned to launch an attack on me for the third time, he missed it and I immediately got the color. I should hit his ball under the car, but the ball is not accurate enough and the mistake is made. I must be in a hurry.
Then he came to a quick fix. He hit the ball and the game is over.
We stood up and argued for a while. I blame him for cheating. We checked the rules of the game and it was even more fierce. I said something very ridiculous.
Finally my brother asked me if it was not right. “What the hell are you doing?” he asked.
I was going to say nothing, but I felt mixed at the moment. It feels too late and terrible, I have never had this feeling for a moment. All I can do is sit on the grass and shake my head. My brother sat down beside me and put my hand on my shoulder. We have never sat together in this position. I cried, I haven’t cried for some years. This must have scared my brother a big jump, and he apologized for the game.
Everything is meaningless to me, suddenly.
My own life, the lives of others, cats, dogs, flowers, flowers and grass, the whole world, suddenly off the knot.
I told my brother about this and he did not make any understanding. He just stood up and said, hey, it’s going to rain, and if you want to marry, it will be fine. He picked me up and gave a punch on my stomach and sipped two. My brother used to play ice hockey, and he will come and drink. I let him go a little, I said it was a serious question. My brother sat down and closed his mouth.
We talked. I completely fell off the line, and neither of us understood what I said. But my brother still listened very seriously, he should be taken seriously. I can see that he is a little worried, and he has never seen me like this.
He said that there must be so many individuals going to hit the wall every day. Most people may have lost some of them at the time, but they will gradually get better. My brother is optimistic, he wants to help.
I spoke and felt that it was finished. I am afraid that I have had enough of this day, and I will never have any passion anymore.
Then my brother said that he was going to go far. He said that he would leave after a few days. If he walked for two months, he could lend me the apartment. I said thank you. I just sat there and didn’t say anything until my brother looked at the watch and found that sports news had begun. My brother asked me if I want to watch it together. It’s my birthday, and there is cake left.
Woke up the next day, I realized that I can no longer let everything develop as before. I am lying down and thinking. This has nothing to do with Ryukyu, I know this.
Ryukyu is a trivial matter, but it is a big deal.
Soon I began to wonder about the direct relationship between this and my twenty-five-year-old and self-defeating birthday.
Because I have a special kind of anxiety about the growth of my age.
I basically dismissed the space, but time always made me feel worried.
When I was wearing clothes, I felt that I didn’t have to say that I had to take it for granted.
Every day should be different.
There is also every night.
I stood for a while and looked out the window.
So I made a choice.
I rode to the university and told them I thought I couldn’t finish the major. The director asked me if I had any difficulties and whether she could do something for me. I think her sincerity touched me very much, but I don’t want to say anything. I briefly thanked her for her concern and answered the first question with “yes” and the second one with “no”.
Then I rode back to the city to evaporate the old life. I went to the newspaper that I used to make a small manuscript from time to time, saying that I wouldn’t write anything recently, maybe I would never write it. I also retired the dorms, telephones and magazines, newspapers, and then sold all my books and that TV.
The rest of the property was tied to a backpack and two cartons. The carton was placed in my parents’ attic, the backpack was put on the shoulders, and I rode straight into my brother’s apartment.
I am sitting and sweating.
I did something right.
This is not a joke.
This is not TV2
I was sitting in front of the TV and the feeling of hangover disappeared, so I could continue to play the hamster. I want to wrap the head of the donkey with a piece of cloth, but the sound is still too loud. BRIO should develop it and change the plastic hamster into wood.
Now it is a good time to play the hamster. I can carefully summarize the thoughts of last night, but I have to wait.
Now all the ideas are churning, all about the universe. I think I used to think that everything doesn’t matter.
Now I don’t think so.
Bole’s parents thanked me endlessly. They have to pay me, but I said, don’t mention it, and then I will also drink their Tibetan wine.
Bole does not let me go back to my home.
He is a good boy.
TV is a good thing.
I should watch TV regularly. I am happily deconstructed, I don’t know which ideas are mine, and which ideas are given by TV.
Animal shows are best seen.
David Aidenberg explained that nature is intricate and everything is interrelated. The wasps are navigated with the help of the sun, they know what they are doing, the wasps. They know better than I know.
Start advertising. I like car ads, almost all of them are taken in the desert. The car drove fast in the desert, and the lonely car was against the sun. Volvo’s latest advertisement was also shot in the desert, looking very bullish and running really fast. The driver does not have anything else to do except driving in the desert. He is driving.
I think I will buy a Volvo, green.
My brother will love it.
The same thing that fascinates me is the animated demonstration of shampoo and toothpaste, which is so beautiful. I can see for myself the effect of the active ingredients on the hair or the teeth to clean and adjust. After using it, it is better than before. This is the point and everything should be better.
But jewelry or food animation makes me want to beat people. The biscuits themselves came out of the box and danced while sipping the herbal cheese in the refrigerator. After the herbal cheese appeared, the biscuits flew into the cheese and wiped them on the body.
This seems to be a metamorphosis.
Everything that advertises is now animated. Someone has to shoot their feet and not too much.
I think these should never be animated in advertisements.
– biscuits and bread products
– dairy products
– meat products
– detergent and rubber gloves
–fruits and vegetables
I watched Swedish news for a while. The content is an incident that exposes several government officials to embezzle public funds. It’s quite a big thing, but it makes me happy. This group of people really dare to do anything.
Event replay: A group of government officials went to Brussels for inspection. I was so happy that I finally used the government bank card to play cards at a sex club for a whole night. The amount involved has accumulated more than 30,000 krona.
Just one night.
I saw the bank statement, which gave me a good mood.
It reads the Dahl paint shop, then Texaco twice, and then writes six “crazy loves” one by one.
The interpretation of the parties is creepy. One of them said that he couldn’t remember what happened that night. Another complaint said that I didn’t know that it was a sex club. I am sorry for them.
Dahl paint shop
Then I saw a documentary about the work of the police, in the United States. The scene reproduces a good case of a police officer in Los Angeles a few years ago.
To my surprise, I actually saw tears.
The police stood in the police station and we could see the scene at the time. The producer looked for two actors who were similar in appearance to the police.
The thing is this:
The day before Christmas, a black woman in the poor neighborhood of Los Angeles sat at the door of her house and cried. The police drove in their police car and they stopped to ask what happened. When the woman said that she went to the hospital to visit her daughter who was suffering from cancer, someone stole everything from her: all the furniture, the food in the refrigerator, and even the Christmas gifts of the children were gone. There are three sad children left in the room. Christmas is gone.
The police said that they have no way, and such burglary has almost never broken the case. But to be on the safe side, they recorded what toys she bought for her children.
Then they went back to the police car. The two policemen said that it was too fucking. It was really a matter of the world. They decided to pay for the children themselves to buy some gifts. No matter how fast Christmas is, they are well-fed, but poor women and her children have nothing.
They parked in front of a toy store and bought toys according to the transcript. There are a lot of things, and it costs a few hundred dollars.
Later, they chatted with the owner and told him what happened. The owner was moved by the police’s kindness and said he was willing to pay half of the money. It’s going to be Christmas, isn’t it? Then the police got into the car and planned to drive back to find the woman. The police suddenly called. They must go back immediately.
The director of the police station asked them what happened. The owner of the toy store called the TV station. The TV station now interviews the two police officers.
They rarely hear such “harmonious” news. It is Christmas now, and the country needs to collect some good news.
Many TV stations broadcast the news. CNN also rushed to speed, and soon the entire United States knew about it. The two police officers received greetings from all sides, and President Reagan called and said that they were proud of them.
People send money and gifts, and individuals are willing to provide women with new homes and a better community environment.
Suddenly they remembered that women were still in the dark, she did not have a TV or a radio. She and the children stayed alone in the empty home, they thought that there would be no more Christmas.
The police decided to wait until the next day, Christmas Day.
The next morning, the black women got up to wake up her children and told them to go to the hospital to wish the daughter of cancer a Merry Christmas.
The children feel that it is a bit miserable to not bring gifts, but women say they still have each other and should be thankful. They heard the siren. The women sighed that even in such a sacred day, people cannot coexist peacefully. But then her son looked out the window, the street was crowded with people, police cars, fire trucks, cameras and crowds. The two policemen stood on the grass in the doorway, and they were all gifts in their arms. Someone started moving furniture into the house. The woman did not understand what happened, but she also recognized the two police officers. They gave her a hug and a check for $18,000.
Then the women began to cry.
I also cried for a little while.
The headache has disappeared, I want to hit the hamster.
It is still the breaking of the universe. All the thoughts of last night didn’t really give me much energy.
Since even the universe is so vulnerable, the existence of human beings seems even more meaningless. Why should I make a difference?
But it would be tempting to change the angle if it does. Anyway, I am already in this world. If I let me imagine where I can go besides here, the imagination is not enough.
This kind of thinking does not make me feel embarrassed, maybe I should have thought this way. I don’t know when everyone started thinking about such a problem. I definitely want to understand when someone is fifteen, I don’t. But I am thinking now, and I don’t feel embarrassed. The reason why I am sitting in this apartment is to think about such a problem.
I hope that everything will be fine after I figure it out. In fact, I care a lot about things.
These are the things I care about:
– playing the hamster
– throw the ball
– sitting on the toilet
–fruits and vegetables
– Sleeping, dreaming and waking up
– Someone scared me from behind (occasionally)
– Music (“What you need is love”)
– Children (Bole)
If I can have a very reliable feeling and feel that everything will be fine, then how good.
Maybe I have been alone for too long, I should do more outdoor sports; maybe I can talk to others. Who should I talk to?
Gold is too far away, and Ken is too bad.
I can always talk to my parents, but I don’t like them to worry about my problems. I hope they think I am doing well and getting better and better.
When I was a child, my father always took me around for a walk around our house. He took my hand and then we walked around the house. I don’t know why I remember that it was a very good and meaningful thing.
We live in the house. That is where I eat and sleep, or where I am going around.
I paused the hamster, rode to my parents’ home and told my father that I wanted to walk around the house with him.
He just finished his dinner and thought it was a bit strange.
I begged him not to ask any questions, I said I need to do this. I need to know what it feels like to circle around the house with him. This is part of my topic, I said.
Dad put on overshoes and jackets, so we started walking around the house.
Dad and me.
We circled around the house.
Not exactly the same as before, but it feels good.
I didn’t think that turning around the house with my father would solve all the problems. I have set a moderate expectation.
Dad said that we can come again later if I feel the need.
I said this is very possible.
Dad also said that I should go out often, meet some people, or find a girl.
Why don’t I have a girlfriend?
I can’t find any good reason.
There are no good people at all who have girlfriends.
Silly hats have girlfriends.
I should have a girlfriend.
The world is full of injustice and a stupid hat.
This is certainly part of the reason for my problem.
Is there a group of such silly hats behind every sad music, every silly book or magazine, every brain-destroying movie, and all those food animated TV commercials?
Is it that simple?
Sometimes I believe this is the case.
This is a very natural explanation.
It’s quite in place.
Or in fact, these people are not stupid at all, their original intention is good, but they are wrong again?
This is also possible.
The difference between stupidity and bad luck is still very big.
Anyway, they definitely have a girlfriend.
All have it.
I don’t have it.
a new day.
I woke up.
I slept for a long time.
Lisa has no boyfriend.
I thought about drinking a glass of water.
She is very happy that I called.
Yesterday we went to a coffee shop.
We drank some cola at first, but then we started drinking beer.
We talked a lot.
I said Lisa looked like the one who was sitting in the front passenger seat wearing a red sweater, but I also said that Lisa is more beautiful. She feels good, she is happy to look like Alanis, but she also wants to be more beautiful than her.
This praise is in the middle of an arrow.
Lisa has a very nice voice. I hope that she will keep talking about it. There is a cute little slit between her incisors and a hair that is not long or short.
She told me what she likes to do.
She likes to swim and also likes to walk in the woods. She likes fruit and likes to take pictures of people who are unprepared.
She thought that Bole was my son, and of course she thought so.
I said that I don’t have a son, no daughter, no girlfriend.
I said that I don’t like to pretend. I said that I don’t think we should sit here and say something to each other. This literary work is very good, or this movie is very important.
This we will talk later, I said.
All I said was the truth.
I think if you want her to think that I am a stupid hat, it is best to let her feel that she is not late.
She doesn’t think that I am a stupid hat. I am quite sure about this.
She asked me if it was always so direct. I replied that this was the first time.
She also asked me if I was very hungry.
I said no, I said that I just want to make the premise clear once.
Then I told her about the ball, the hamster and Paul.
She only began to understand what I was talking about.
She also had a set of hamsters when she was a child, but she didn’t remember whether it was a BRIO card.
I asked her to list a table and write it on a paper towel.
These are the things that excited Lisa when I was young:
– Create a small world in the box under my bed
– Carlsson on the roof (I took a house under the table)
– building a wooden house
– Play Survivor Disaster Game
——Office, even the paper is well organized
– chasing bicycle
– collecting caps
– Dress yourself up as a princess
– golden shoes
– plastic diamonds
– miniature model
– scented rubber
– Mom’s cosmetics
——Build a small city with sand or Lego
After the cafe closed, we walked through the castle park. I went home with her and we had a cup of tea. I saw her camera, and there were some photos, huge color photos. She gave me a hug before leaving, and recalled afterwards, I think it can be considered a kiss.
Basically it should be a hug.
But maybe it can be a kiss.