Care and pity

My friend told me that she didn’t go to work these two days, staying with her father at home, and the old man has entered the state of dying. In the face of the distant relatives, she is very painful and feels helpless and helpless. There was a sting in my heart, and there was no words to comfort me. Put down the phone and feel the hot flashes on his face, from the tears to the nose to the lips.

I have experienced the death of three close relatives, but none of them can see off at their side.

At the age of 12, the father fell ill. First, I am at home, and my mother is a temporary worker to subsidize the family. I dare not take time off. Young, I seem to mature overnight, taking a break from school to take care of my seriously ill father. A porridge and a meal, clean and wash, learn to look like a mother. If this is the case, it is impossible to reverse the father’s condition. Finally, he is admitted to the hospital, and the mother clothes are incomprehensible. The father is always drowsy, his brow is slightly locked, and the rapid breathing makes his lips dry. The doctor refused to feed the water, and I used a cotton swab to gently apply the warm water to his lips. Looking at his father’s eyes, he always hopes that he will wake up early.

That cold night, my mother took me to the hospital, the last time I saw my father. His mouth has been closed, there is a faint blood mark in the corner of his mouth, his brow has been unfolded, and he is as quiet as asleep. My mother’s grief is like a landslide, and my heart is blank. My father didn’t choose to let me go, maybe I was afraid that I couldn’t afford the heavy weight of the young.

When I got married, my mother had just had a stomach cancer operation. Her cancer recurred in the winter, her son was just over one year old, I was busy with work and children, and I could only go back to the weekend to do my filial piety.

I remember the last weekend, we rushed back in the early morning, and the mother-in-law met us very happy. In the afternoon, my mother-in-law reminded us to go. Looking at the sky is too late, we will leave. I just heard the phone ring when I entered the house. After receiving the call, Mr. changed his face and said, “Mom is gone.” I stayed there for a while. The gentleman hurriedly set off again, and I took my child to sleep at home overnight. Entering the house again, the mother-in-law has stopped at the hall, and she often greets us back here. I am holding my child and kneeling in front of the spirit. Mr. said to see Mom again. Uncovering the face paper, the face that is thin because of illness no longer has a smile, but it seems that there is a deep disappointment, staying in the mouth of Wei Kai. The tears that I can hardly suppress are once again raging. The mother-in-law smiled and said goodbye to us. She did not want us to see her struggle and pain before her death. In this way, she used to hurt me for the last time.

The third time I feel parting is my most beloved mother. After my father died, I lived with my mother, even if I was married.

In the second year of his son’s second year, the school was delayed in the summer vacation. I went to accompany my son, and my mother stayed at my sister’s house. I could only take time to visit each night. The 87-year-old mother did not have any serious illness and left without warning. On the night of the night, I urged my husband and I to go back soon. When I arrived at the luncheon in the next day, she had already left quietly. I held my mother in my arms, and the soft but cold body told me that she could no longer give me the warm embrace I once had. The heart is the pain and sadness of sinking to the end, and there are endless regrets.

I can’t always let go. The three loved ones I love deeply, I am sure that they also love me like a pearl. Why at the last moment of my life, I chose to leave at the moment I left, and I will not leave my back. Every time I am clear, avoiding the day, or staying alone in the night, I often ask myself this time and again, and I miss a thousand times and torture.

Now, in my friend’s talk, I suddenly understand: It is clear that they know that their children have paid all the emotions, have all kinds of mourning, and can’t bear to watch the death of their lives. This desperation will destroy me. All strong. Therefore, they used my decisive travel behind me to give me the last care. What kind of pity is this, and fortunately for me. Perhaps because of this, I am full of vicissitudes of life and impermanence, and today I still have a bright smile.