In February 2018, the New York Times published an interesting article: “Boys, the big things are not good! “The article mentions an increasingly significant phenomenon – compared to girls of the same age, boys are significantly behind in terms of academic performance, behavioral norms, social adaptation.
Although girls are not without difficulties and obstacles in the patriarchal society, in recent years, under the popularization of feminist consciousness, girls have become more confident and independent, and have more willingness to prove themselves.
Coincidentally, the data released by the OECD also shows that in the global institutions of higher learning, the number of women is basically much higher than that of men. More relevant data shows that the number of girls admitted to Ivy League in the United States is almost twice that of boys; in China, college girls who have received scholarships have doubled than boys…
Was this boy destined to be crushed by girls this year? In order to carefully identify the difference between boys and girls, the comparison of “good and bad”, a British documentary called Real Stories, made a unique social experiment.
Ten boys and 10 girls, all of whom were in their early 10s, were “closed” into a fully equipped, well-stocked villa for five days, during which no adult had interference. In theory, they can do whatever they want, but they can contact their parents and seek help from a psychiatrist when they need it. If they feel unwell, they can quit at any time.
The final result is whether the boy performs better or the girl performs better? What is the difference between them? As the lens deepens, the thought-provoking contrast is slowly unfolding.
10 boys are alone: how can a word be miserable?
On a sunny day, 10 boys dragged their suitcases into their new home – a two-storey villa with a window full of toys and food. On the first floor, there is a living room, kitchen, garden, and game room; on the second floor, there are two bedrooms, one large and one small, with a total of 10 beds.
The first time they stepped into the villa, the boys were crazy. After leaving the baggage, I began to curiously explore, eat and play. At the beginning, there were also boys who were chilling, asking which school they came from, and not tired of their homework. But without saying a word, everyone is in a state of silence. The common psychological activity is probably: “What to install, hurry up!”
In the garden, a fight against water guns is in full swing. In the house, the boy who first discovered the brush began to graffiti, and the good walls were instantly wiped out. The most exaggerated is a boy named Michael, “哗啦” tearing open the popcorn box, and “squeaking” popped the popcorn all over the floor, and then started rolling. In terms of self-discipline and self-control, the boys’ performance at the beginning was indeed unsatisfactory. In the absence of discipline, they began to release themselves as quickly as possible. But the good news is that after some creation, the boys who have fallen into chaos and messy have stopped. The oldest Daniel began to lead everyone to do simple cleaning, such as wiping the table and scraping off the candy stuck on the carpet.
The famous educator Mariah Montessori once suggested that the child’s nature is not completely full of destructive desire, but also tends to order and neatness, especially after extreme destruction. Sure enough, on the first night, the 10 boys who finished the cleaning work sat around for the first time and decided to vote for a leader to take the lead and mediation. The cheerful George was unanimously elected as the leader. He felt that he shouldered the heavy responsibilities and collected the opinions of everyone. However, he did not expect that Michael, who exaggerated his behavior, was criticized by everyone and became the accusation of everyone. Object. This also laid the fuse for the things that happened later.
At noon the next day, the boys who had not had a good meal the day before, just drinking cola and eating snacks, collectively got off the kitchen. Driven by hunger, they rarely show their talents and want to fill their hungry stomach. But there is a boy who is very exceptional. He claims to be a vegetarian Sim. He did not do anything in the process of his partner’s kitchen. He ate snacks on the sofa and refused to participate in the cleanup after the meal.
Seeing that Sim is so leisurely, there are children who are not happy. “You obviously didn’t do it, it’s not fair!” The boys strongly urged Sim to clean the table and wash the dishes alone to make up for it. After Sim refused, the boys began to blame. A boy took the ball to the face of Sim. Until the leader George made a dissuasion, everyone only converges, and the atmosphere in the house suddenly becomes a bit strange. At seven o’clock in the evening, Sim, who was sitting on the sofa but was ignored, took off his glasses and quietly wiped his tears. He has been isolated for a whole day, and no one except George talks to him. To make matters worse, when George decided to take Sim not to sleep in the room, but to sleep in the tent in the garden, the other boys were all in trouble in the middle of the night. They play football, whistle, sing, just don’t want Sim to sleep well. Throughout the whole process, only the responsible George was accompanied, comforting him and apologizing for the actions of others.
When a “heterogeneous” is determined, the boy’s aggression and revenge are magnified to a terrible level. Perhaps it was succumbing to collective pressure, perhaps touched by George’s unrelenting care. On the third day, Sim silently accepted the role of “cleaner” and stood alone in front of the sink to wash the dishes, which was reintegrated. Among the groups. In the eyes of many boys, the thorns of Sim are solved. Can you finally have peace of mind? It was suggested that a formal feast be held in the garden, and the boys sat around the table and were eating a ceremonial meal. The atmosphere of the whole meal was very harmonious. Everyone talked and laughed, as if nothing had happened before.
But in fact, as the experiment progressed into the later stages, the boys who had been away from home for several days had become increasingly anxious, the closed environment made people feel depressed, and the mood of homesickness added a new twist. In order to vent their feelings of nowhere, more and more boys have chosen to madly destroy and shout. A boy said that he couldn’t take it anymore, just wanted to scream. The original neat villa was replaced with a new look by the boys. The garbage was everywhere, and it was filthy. At the end, even Sim was reluctant to continue cleaning. The things that can be removed at home have also been removed.
As the damage deepened, the boy Michael, who had been criticized at the beginning, became the new target of attack. The boys subconsciously thought that he was the most mischievous of all, so they tied Michael to the garden and tried to draw him with a water pipe. Michael was stupidly happy. Michael, who became the target of the new “group bully”, became more and more weird. He not only did not care about the bullying of others, but also stuffed a spring into his mouth. The boys who witnessed Michael’s strange behavior are even more convinced that he is a “heterogeneous” and that bullying is even more intensified.
George, who did not want to get worse, took the initiative to seek the help of a psychiatrist. Under the guidance of doctors, the boy’s collective bullying against Michael only subsided slightly. But in a blink of an eye, they picked up the wooden sticks and swelled the small animals in the garden. The squirrels also had rabbits. They saw one hit and finally stopped the filming group, and the quietly violent behavior was pressed. key.
Everyone knows that boys are more likely to be mischievous, but they don’t expect to be distorted to such an extent in extreme situations. This is not just a question of the personality of the boy, but the evil of humanity is infinitely magnified, and the boys have no ability to control themselves.
The five-day experiment was finally over. In the mess of the land, the boys walked out of the house one by one. Parents glanced at the window and couldn’t help but be surprised: the whole villa environment, how can it be a “miser” word? “How can you do this damage?” Some parents asked inexplicably, but the boys did not know why. In the experiment, destruction and bullying became the theme of this 120 hours. In addition to being a leader, George is always supporting the weak, trying to guide everyone, and making people look impressive. The behavior of many other children cannot be described as “satisfaction.”
10 girls are alone: love beauty clean “plastic sister flowers”
The camera turned around and the girls appeared in the experiment. Before entering the house, the girls’ style of painting is essentially different from that of the boys. Before leaving, the parents have been holding and holding high, all of them like little princesses who are far away. There was a girl with a bear on the suitcase, and the exquisite breath came. It seems that the girl wins a lot of hope!
Of course, like the boys, the girls were shocked by the food and toys filled with the villas at the beginning. They walked around in surprise, and occasionally made one or two praises. But no one is playing and playing, and no one deliberately destroys them. They are carefully maintaining this new home for the next five days, and they are familiar with each other. The girl’s excellent social skills are vividly reflected here – in less than an hour, the girls already know each other’s names, and some have become friends with their backs.
After discovering the paintings, the girls also thought that they could paint on the wall, but everyone carefully painted the good-looking shapes, and the boys were confused and confused. The warm atmosphere is similar to when you were a child and a classmate with a class blackboard. In a short while, small flowers, grass, stars… all began to form on the walls. Girls seem to have the ability to unite and cooperate with artistic creation. .
In addition to excellent hands-on ability, the girls’ meticulous minds are amazing. Girls Sally and Sha Dai, taking into account the lunch time approaching, volunteered to go to the kitchen to cook. As soon as they do, they are also meals for ten people. At noon on the first day, ten girls ate a hot meal around the table. At the end of the lunch, the girls spontaneously cleaned up the hygiene, the dishes were washed clean, the tables were neatly packed, and the walls were scrubbed. Everyone even made a turn-of-day plan after the meeting. The girl’s sense of order and cleanliness is much stronger than that of the boy.
The surprises that the girls have given us are far more than that. In the afternoon, they had a chance to move the table and chairs together and set up a catwalk show. Everyone said that they would do it, and they started the show with each model. They appeared on stage. The fun of creativity, the active atmosphere, and the conviction of countless times – still a good girl, will be a daughter in the future…
If the girls’ behaviors have remained in such a harmonious state for five days, I believe that the results of this experiment are clear, but the biggest problem is that the beautiful utopias created by the girls are formed very quickly, but they are easy to dissipate. Just like the “plastic sister flower” we often say, although it looks beautiful, the plastic material can’t stand the wind and rain. There are many reasons why girls have problems, sometimes they can be accidental or they can be trivial.
On the first night, a comet ran into the house, and when the girls found out, they immediately opened up the collective “cat” mode. Justin, a little girl who loves cats, took the cat upstairs and was opposed by others. Some girls think that it is better to return the cat to nature; but some people stand on the side of Justin and insist on exercising the custody of the cat. In the dispute, the frightened kitten escaped. The cat-loving group represented by Justin was deeply hit, and Justin secretly retaliated against Sally, who advocated taking the cat away. She poured a pot of water onto Sally’s quilt and left. Somehow, Sally discovered that she was a good thing about Sha Daigan. When she didn’t ask clearly, she poured water on Sha’s bed. Shaddy, who was harmed unreasonably, refused to give up and retaliated. One after the other, no one was in person to ask what was going on, and the girls fell into a scuffle with each other. At the end of the day, Sally, who had been splashed with a cold heart, fell to her bed and wept, and told the friends who came to comfort. When I was cooking in the kitchen today, I had a bit of a dispute with Sha Dai. She decided that Sha Dai was everywhere. I feel very wronged.
It’s really a girl’s heart, a sea needle! No one expected that Sally, who felt that she had been wronged by Tianda, became the first person to take the initiative to withdraw. The news came, the girls were shocked, everyone cried and persuaded around Sally, but they could not retain Sally who insisted on going home. Sally left, and the atmosphere of the first and the beautiful was changed. The two girls buried themselves in the bed and were no longer willing to come out. Shaddy also locked herself into the bathroom, leaving no one to knock on the door. In the end, someone wrote a small note and passed it in, in exchange for a little response from Shaddy. The information on the note shows that Jessica said two words, “Shaddy took Sally away,” and let Shaddy swear. This seems to be a girl’s traits – sensitive, suspicious and very emotional, and an unintentional language will be remembered for a long time. It was not until Jessica took the initiative to admit that Shaddy came out of the bathroom and the nine girls returned to good. Everyone moved the bed to the same room and agreed to sleep with them.
But the good times are not long, a few words in the joke, I do not know how to poke the heart of Sha Dai. She locked herself into the bathroom twice before and after, and when she entered the second time, some people came to persuade; later, everyone did not care about her. On the fourth day, Shaddy, who was unintentional, returned to the room from the bathroom, waiting for peace of mind, not regenerating things. Unexpectedly, on the early morning of the last day, Nicole, who had always been silent, suddenly “runs away” and said that she had not slept well for several days. She couldn’t hold it anymore and offered to go home. When a girl saw it, she immediately got up and persuaded, but it didn’t help, and Nicole still pressed the doorbell that was withdrawn early. When Nicole left, the whole house fell into a raging fog, and the girls cried in succession and thought they lost a partner. On the fifth day, there were only eight girls left in the room. Although they suffered from the loss of two partners and were loved by Shaddy who loved to play, the girls generally maintained the final harmony and decent. Everyone wrote greeting cards to each other and wrote messages, and most of them used the very eager words “love you all”. Five days of getting along, it seems that each other is considered to be an indispensable person in the life of the other person. Although no one will think about it, this kind of “love” is really as strong as the one written in the message.
The girls’ experiments showed a seemingly perfect ending by giving each other a show and a party.
Why are boys and VS girls so different?
Five days, 120 hours, 20 children, one comparison. In general, the experimental results are more in line with the public’s judgment on the gender of boys and girls, such as boys are prone to life, anger, no hygiene, natural destructive desire, and girls love beauty, clean, thoughtful, emotional fragile.
To some extent, femininity is actually easier for them to succeed in certain situations. Just like the documentary shows, the mutual respect of girls allows everyone to come to comfort when others fall into the trough. The division of labor can achieve goals faster, the graffiti on the walls, the T-show, etc. force. But the girl’s “careful eyes” and over-sensitive emotions have to be said to be a stumbling block on the way girls grow up.
The most interesting part of this documentary is that it provides a scene of group life. We can see that after entering the “social”, the differences between boys and girls in relieving stress will fundamentally affect their behavior. It is also easy to understand that it is also far from the parents, and it is stressful to be in a closed environment with strangers. In the face of stress, the boys first chose to use common bullying objects to resolve – first, not to clean Sim, then to be arrogant Michael, and finally to innocent little animals. This precisely reflects the “black sheep effect” in social psychology. In the group, in order to enhance the sense of identity and cohesion, and to vent negative emotions, everyone will choose an attack target, the “black sheep”. The cause of the attack is often unrecognizable. The “fire” is basically a trivial matter. . After the “Black Sheep” is bullied, the behavior will be distorted. Chen Junqin, the famous chief physician of psychiatry in Taiwan, believes that the “black sheep effect” has a profound impact on human beings. Few people realize that they are strange and are especially common among male groups. This just explains the performance of the ten boys in the experiment.
The existence and enlargement of the “Black Sheep Effect” shows the naked destructive power and bullying desire in the boy society. But girls’ social disintegration methods are quite different. Girls are creatures dominated by emotions, they are eager to integrate, maintain the integrity of the group, and fear losing. They can go through the cycle of “arguing – and good – quarreling” indefinitely, but they can’t tolerate the departure of their partners. The integrity of the group is the most basic way for them to seek a sense of security in a small society. For girls, security is the best way to fight stress, so they can tirelessly suspicion, criticize and rehabilitate, but they will collapse when Sally and Nicole ask for withdrawal.
The results of the boy-girl contrast experiment are so different. In addition to the different personality traits, the advantages and disadvantages of the two types of gender are demonstrated. Different methods for relieving the group pressure are also a factor to consider. Of course, the experiment is only a small refraction of the society. If you change a scene, will the results be different? What if you change the age of the two groups of children? There are many things we can think about about the topic of “boys vs girls.”