One person is an army

  A netizen wrote a letter to me two days ago and asked me how to overcome loneliness. She was the same as when I first came to the United States. English was not good enough, there were few friends, and one waited for dawn, and one waited for the dark. “Every day, school, home, library, GYM, what time is it.”

  I said that I have no good tricks because I have never overcome this problem. What I have learned over the years is to adapt to it. “Adapting to loneliness is like adapting to a disability.”

  I feel that happiness is something that can’t be met, but fulfillment is something that can’t be met. My happiness is very small, of course I am not suffering. The main reason is that life is thin and the event density is very low. My typical day: a person, a book, a computer, a DVD. One person, on average, goes to school twice a week to listen to lectures. On average, I have lunch with my friends once a week, and dinner once every weekend. How thin life, whoever comes close to me will have altitude sickness.

  I am actually not alone at all. Everyone who knows me in life knows how easy and outgoing I am. Sometimes, I am lazy, too lazy to run a relationship. There are also times when you love freedom and feel that any relationship will bind you. Of course, the most important thing is that it is difficult to know. I always feel that I am dealing with most people. I can only come up with a subset of myself. It is difficult for me to find people who are as endless as myself.

  Sometimes I am in a hurry. Not only because I missed the dinner, laughter, and warmth between my friends and relatives, not only because a young woman of literature has a natural yearning for stories, conflicts, and leafy life, but also because the vanguard of one’s thoughts is always Keeped by collision. I am worried, I am staying alone like this, will it become more and more stupid?

  But at other times, I was amazed at my vitality. In such a lack of communication, communication, stimulation, debate, jokes, chat, rumors, rumors, gossip, gossip, MSN… there is no “circle”. For many years, I just kept talking with myself. I actually kept it. With creativity and combat power, I wrote a novel political essay blog and wrote so full of enthusiasm, and I am a stubborn sunflower.

  When I was young, I felt lonely was a cool thing. When I grow up, I feel lonely is a very bleak thing. Now, I feel lonely is not one thing.

  Sometimes what people need is real despair. True despair has nothing to do with pain, with sorrow, and with pain. Real despair makes people feel calm. You realize that you can’t rely on others—anyone—to be happy, fulfilling, and redeeming. Then, you face yourself and carry this kind of consciousness into words and deeds.

  It is not discouraged, it is not over and over, it is not a shit lyrics that is “flat and faint from the tolerance”, it is just a kind of pragmatic attitude of “the destiny of destiny, one’s own self”.

  I think that I am lucky after all, not only because of the external income, but also because of the tenacity and endowment God gave me. It tells me that an unexamined life is not worth living, teaches me to use the nothingness, pride, cynicism to surpass the kind of life that follows the tide, and then teach me to use the right and wrong, responsibility to surpass that point of nothingness, pride, cynicism.

  When Russell said that knowledge, love, and compassion are the driving force of his life, I feel that this romantic and eternal life is simply my brother.

  Because of this luck, I forgive God for all the frustrations, loneliness, forgive him for the sensitivity, depression and nervousness he gave me, forgive him for letting X not like me, let me not like Y, so that so many people grow better than me, Let so many bad books sell better than mine, and even forgive him to let me grow to 105 pounds, because he gave me the best quality in the world: not discouraged, summoned, love free.