People are not living for the sake of being right, but for the day when they are old, they think of something that will make you unable to hold your mouth.
Yesterday, my friend Xiaoxi spoke to me. I met a person with a particularly low emotional intelligence and almost delayed her work.
It turned out that soon after, Xiao Xi had to go abroad to talk about business, and he needed to apply for a visa. To apply for a visa, he needed to provide proof of income stamped with the company’s official seal.
Therefore, Xiao Xi made a proof of income and prepared to stamp the colleague in charge of the official seal.
As a result, the leader of the day was not there, Xiao Xi could not sign the seal to the leader, and the colleague in charge of the official seal was particularly difficult to speak, did not dare to seal outside the scope of authority, and did not want to call the leader first. Chapter again find the leadership signature.
Xiao Xi explained that this is to apply for a visa. Because the time for business trip is relatively close, it takes a while to get a visa. If you can’t stamp it in time, you may delay your work and hope to be able to get through.
But this colleague can recognize the truth, can only sign first, then seal, Xiaoxi had to go back and wait for the leader to run again.
Later, Xiao Xi told colleagues that after this incident, the colleague who manages the official seal has always been pedantic and has low emotional sentiment, and has already offended many people.
In fact, there are many such people in our lives. They always adhere to their own standards, live in the rules and regulations of the moral regulations, only do things that conform to the rules, read only read-only “famous works”, listen to songs only listen to “connotations” ……
If you are excited and swearing, they will tell you how civilized people should talk.
If the child only wants to be an ordinary wage earner when he grows up, they will tell the child that “the soldier who does not want to be a general is not a good soldier.”
This is not a low emotional intelligence, but a three-view .
The so-called three views generally refer to the world outlook, values, and outlook on life. Popular points are the standard of living for a person . Namely: What do you think people should live, what should be done, and what the rules of the world should be.
According to the self-media people, the people who are too positive are living in textbooks . Their thinking is like this:
“Be ignorant, don’t listen, indecent assault, indecent assault. Self-denial and ritual for benevolence. One day, self-denial, and the world.”
In short, it is necessary to be a human being. You should not do something messy. If you say something messy, you should not show your poor image.
When you are with a person who is too positive, there is often a sense of oppression that cannot be said.
Some friends once said such a thing in the group. Her female boss M is a partner of their studio. She is smart and beautiful, treats people sincerely, not only has a successful career, but also a special family. She has always been the goddess in everyone’s mind.
And such a rare woman, after five years of marriage, was divorced by her husband.
M can’t believe it. I suspect that her husband is derailed. After all, she is considerate and considerate to her husband and family. She is in harmony with her in-laws. No one wants to put such a good day.
Even her husband’s family felt that his son was crazy. Such a good wife could not find a lantern. The son did not know how to be blessed.
But the truth is that the husband is not derailed and there is no third party.
M asked the reason, but the answer is: “You are all good, but when you get along with you, it is too stressful. Not because you are stronger than me, let me have no face, but because everything must follow a picture A good box to do, to live, makes me feel too tired.”
People with good attitudes are often kind, reliable, and principled. Working with them and talking about business is a very pleasant and labor-saving thing, but when they are friends and lovers, they often feel tired.
Because with such people, it is necessary to be human and human, and to be able to live in harmony with each other.
Anyone who exposes some minor shortcomings, such as a night out, watching a nutritious variety show, doing something unreliable, may be carefully taught by the other party.
In the long run, the taste of life slowly fades, patience slowly fades away, and feelings no longer exist.
Freud divides personality into self, self, and super .
I am the most primitive of me, the physical and material me, the super-I am moral, and the self adjusts and balances the self and the super-self in the middle.
The people who are too positive in the three are super-stronger, I am weaker, and the self is more biased towards super-ego.
Such people are acting in a reasonable manner, have a strict set of standards for themselves, and have many standardized requirements for others, which is easy to give people a stereotype, boring, or even false feeling.
This is similar to the psychological effect of ugliness. Only those who are mediocre will not be admired, but those who are completely impeccable may not be liked.
Because a person who shows no flaws at all will often feel unreal.
The flawless shortcomings will not only affect people’s affection for him, but will make people feel his true and grounded feelings psychologically and increase trust.
A person’s vitality is manifested in the feelings of life. If you don’t feel or suppress your feelings, you can’t live without yourself.
The people who follow the rules and regulations set by others and rely on the ethical standards to draw the scoops are not creative.
People who are too optimistic are living too much in reason and not living in feelings. Therefore, they often live in a rigid manner because they cannot express their inner real needs.
The Fucha Queen in “The Raiders” is such a person.
Before entering the palace, she was once a bright and pure girl who fell in love with love. After she entered the Forbidden City, she took the responsibility of the Queen as her own duty, and she did not dare to go to the pool.
As she said: “I serve the Queen Mother, respect the emperor, be kind, and be cautious. I am afraid that I will be wrong, and I am afraid of being accused by the people of the world.
I am a good-natured Shude, I am afraid that I will be rejected by the emperor. I don’t complain, I don’t want to, I don’t hate it. I am protecting the emperor. I even regard their children as their own children. What have I got? ”
She is the most beautiful queen, but she is no longer the best self . From the moment she puts on the phoenix crown, every step taken is not her choice.
For the overall model, she suppressed her life and eventually forced herself to a dead end.
On the other hand, Wei Wei, who is not so positive in the three views, has a clear love, is reluctant to accept defeat, dares to resist, dares to live out himself, and does his best to live according to his own will.
Therefore, she laughed at the end of the whole drama, and also got the most love and pity of Qianlong.
Therefore, Queen Fucha said that Wei Wei is her own hope, the white moonlight in her heart, like the one who once was.
Before she died, she did not forget to ask the Emperor Rao Wei Wei not to die in the suicide note.
Life is only a few dozen years old. If you always suppress your own nature and live on a “too correct” track, such a life must be uninteresting.
Wang Xiaobo said: ” I live in the world, I just want to understand some truth and meet some interesting things. If I can, my life will be successful .”
Three people are not right, people who do not have rules and do not follow the routine, can not integrate into society; but the three views are too positive, everywhere rules, everything is done, not only live tired, but also make people around them feel depressed.
In fact, not good people will be liked, nor will they be born in poverty, they will only live with poor consumption standards.
If you are just a poor student who has just graduated, spend half a month internship salary, buy a light luxury brand-name bag, and don’t care about the same age.
Everyone is yearning for a comfortable and superior life. If there is only a lack of support and justice is only for justice, what hope is there in such a life?
Carrying this bag on the back can bring you confidence and open a beautiful future life, that is worth it.
Sometimes, we don’t have to live so perfect, don’t pursue correctness, nobleness, selflessness, and there is nothing wrong with it.
As the saying goes: People are not living for the sake of correctness, but for the day when they are old, they think of something that will make you unable to hold your mouth .
To be wonderful in life, even if you can’t do it, you must at least live a style and live a “style.”
It is also meaningful to regard life as a work of art and to be a person who is not good, not serious, and not an example.
What you think is worth it, that is worth it.